N Myths About "One-Night Stand"

American sociologist John defines "one-night stand" as sexual behavior based on human animal sexual attraction, which ignores the norms that lovers should abide by when getting along with each other, such as personality, quality, and cultivation.

The desire for a one-night stand is human nature

"One-night stand" generally refers to sexual activity between a man and a woman in a specific situation due to momentary feelings, impulses, love or the need to relieve loneliness. American sociologist John defines "one-night stand" as sexual behavior based on human animal sexual attraction, which ignores the norms that lovers should abide by when getting along with each other, such as personality, quality, and cultivation. The essential difference between a "one-night stand" and prostitution is that the former is for the satisfaction of the sexual and psychological desires of both men and women, while the latter is for the satisfaction of the sexual desires of one party. It is essentially a monetary transaction.

There are four types of "one-night stands"

"One-night stands" can be roughly divided into four types based on different psychological motivations.

One-night stand based on sexual seduction: It is driven by sexual instinct, has a great liking for a person of the opposite sex, and desires intimate contact. The behavior is manifested in actively seducing the other party, waiting for the other party to respond positively, and expecting continued intimate contact.

Confused one-night stand: It comes from anxiety, extreme discomfort with a certain environment, feeling very confused, and longing for comfort and warmth from the opposite sex. The behavior is half-hearted, and there is a desire to obtain sensory satisfaction to fill the inner emptiness.

Revenge one-night stand: It is caused by emotional hurt, and the person has great resentment towards the person he loves (or has loved), and hopes to make up for his emotional pain through sexual behavior with others. The behavior manifests itself in actively seducing a person of the opposite sex that one likes, expecting the other party to respond positively, but not necessarily expecting continuous intimate contact.

Suggestive one-night stand: It is caused by situational suggestion, and there is great curiosity and expectation about the sexual suggestion in a specific situation, and the desire to try it. The behavior is half-hearted, and "one-night stand" is pursued as a fashionable, popular or submissive behavior.

"One-night stand": from the "high end" of the niche to the "low end" of the masses

According to relevant psychology and sociology research, among the above four types, the sexual seduction type accounts for about 60%, the revenge type accounts for about 20%, the confusion type and the suggestion type each account for about 15%. In terms of the proportion of educational level, sociologist Li Yinhe once said that "one-night stand" should be a common phenomenon in industrial and urban societies. Indeed, a "one-night stand" without the constraints of love and marriage cannot be considered a violation of ethics as long as it is consensual, does not harm others, and does not affect society; however, a "one-night stand" with the constraints of love and marriage will cause varying degrees of harm to the other party in the love and marriage, and will have serious consequences for the family and even society.

Xia Xueluan, a professor of sociology at Peking University, suggested that "one-night stands" are more common among people with higher education levels because they are mainly spread on the Internet. At the same time, the more highly educated people are, the more they can rationalize their behavior and thus achieve psychological balance. Zhu Jianjun, a psychologist at Beijing Forestry University, also pointed out that based on the people he has come into contact with, most of those who have one-night stands are white-collar workers in society. The reason is that these people get married relatively late, and some are even afraid of getting married, but they need sex, so they will look for sexual partners. In addition, some people choose the free way because their lives change a lot, they are in Beijing today and in Shanghai tomorrow, and they cannot establish a stable marriage.

The myth of "one-night stand": It temporarily relieves anxiety and depression, but cannot solve many personal crises

A "one-night stand" can only temporarily relieve certain anxiety and depression, but it cannot relieve them permanently. In other words, while "one-night stand" satisfies a person's physical desires, it is also deceiving a person's soul. Therefore, the idea that men and women will develop feelings for each other and even get married after a "one-night stand" is mostly self-deception.

French sexologist Alain Eicher pointed out that men's desire is more influenced by body chemistry and needs to be released at the right time, while women's desire is more influenced by the brain and needs to be fully prepared. Therefore, what men seek in a one-night stand is excitement and novelty, while what women seek is affection and hope. In other words, when men try "one-night stands", the ending is mostly a circle, with sex being the starting point and the end point; while when women try "one-night stands", the ending is mostly a triangle, with sex, love, and self-protection each guarding one side.

Gray, a famous American marriage counselor, has a point of view that "men dig holes, women dig wells." That is to say, when a man encounters setbacks, the first thing he thinks of is to escape, just like hiding in a hole in the ground, and then slowly recover;

When a woman encounters setbacks, the first thing she thinks of is to ask for help, like sinking to the bottom of a well waiting for rescue, and she longs for understanding and comfort from others. Therefore, the purpose of a one-night stand is often not sex itself, but to relieve tense emotions. In fact, physiological research also shows that when people are under stress, sex hormones will be activated and sexual desire will increase. What exactly a "one-night stand" will bring to the parties involved, probably only the conscience of the man and woman knows best. Please think twice before taking a step forward!