The Secret of Women's Masochism

First, abuse and be happy

Freud wrote that every pain contains the possibility of pleasure. A man's sexual desire is mixed with the desire for aggression and conquest. From a biological point of view, if he does not use other methods different from other courtship methods to conquer his sexual object, he will feel bored.

Freud believed that although love and survival instincts are opposite to attack and destructive instincts, they can also be transformed into each other (such as love transforms into hate) and can also be combined together. When the sexual instinct is combined with the aggressive instinct, if it is directed towards an external sexual object, it forms rape, and if it is turned towards oneself, it forms sexual masochism.

We can call this instinct that prompts devouring and being devoured the sadomasochistic instinct. The instinct of sadism and masochism is the beginning of love.

I saw a passage a few days ago: "Women have an innate sense of guilt for their physical desires. Therefore, they have a contradictory psychology of looking forward to pleasure and avoiding pleasure. They also hope that when they enjoy pleasure, they are in a passive and unfree state. They can find a suitable reason to relieve their desires and accept the punishment for getting pleasure."

Second, women desire to be suppressed, invaded, and subjugated.

For women, they like domineering and masculine men. Like to be suppressed and subdued. In terms of sexual behavior, the more violent and rough it is, the more you like it and the more pleasure you get. Let’s not discuss SM symptoms here for now.

Since ancient times, heroes have been paired with beauties. The more heroic a man is, the more women will surrender to him. As long as they are in love, a woman will feel that the rougher the other person is, the sexier he is. Even in the eyes of others, it is a behavior of being humiliating.

When a woman's masochistic psychology is aroused, her body naturally produces a strong reaction. "Absorb the pure yin energy of heaven and earth," said an evil book I read in the old days. This certainly has no scientific basis, but from a psychoanalytic perspective, women do have a natural tendency to be masochistic and like gentle whips. No matter how independent they are in spirit, they still desire a long-lasting and sweet relationship with a man.

Third, women like to enjoy the happiness of being a little woman.

When pursuing a girl, as long as you are shameless and attack her, she will be conquered. Female psychologist Helini Duoyiqiu said: "Women are born with a tendency to be abused." Because of being abused, they have emotions and desires for love and protection. In other words, women's masochism is a performance for men. If a woman is placed on a lonely island without any man, see if she will still enjoy being abused or even self-abuse.

Under normal circumstances, love has a "seesaw game" aspect. When the man gets excited, the woman will avoid him. When the man becomes cold, the woman will get excited again. The advance and retreat in love is like Tai Chi.

"If it weren't for you..." The other party's plea like this would immediately stimulate her "self-pity" (loving herself). When the other person says "You are the one I love", she has to suppress her emotions to satisfy her "abuse" psychology. This is the joy of a little woman in love. A brief period of suppression is actually a huge brewing, and the emotions that follow will be like turbulent waves.

Fourth, women are also good at self-abuse

In fact, Qiong Yao, the godmother of Taiwanese romance novels, is a representative of those who are good at self-abuse. Director Lin Yihua analyzed: "The biggest feature of Qiong Yao's works is that she is good at self-abuse. One of the most successful aspects of Qiong Yao is that she has grasped the psychology of 'women hate women'. Starting from "Outside the Window", which is her autobiography, it describes her mother's persecution of her premature love. A woman, in the name of love, ruthlessly persecutes another woman. In the last "My Fair Princess", it is still about the persecution of Xiaoyanzi by Rong Mama and others, an old woman persecuting a little woman." The discussion is quite insightful. It is no wonder that Qiong Yao's works are so popular, because there are so many women who love self-abuse.

Women cannot avoid the masochistic nature in their bones, but it cannot be excessive. If it is excessive, it will become a form of masochism. Those who married Phoenix men have been abused mentally and physically for a long time. At most, they would say a few words online to vent their feelings, but when they return to their lives, they will continue to be abused by those Phoenix men. There are also many men who say that they are very good to those women and obey them in everything, but those women often don’t like them. They always think of the men who cheated on them and played with their bodies. Those men have a common characteristic: they like to be sadistic.

"If you go to a woman, don't forget to bring a whip"

Nietzsche said, if you go to a woman, don't forget to bring a whip. Watch "Tied Me Up, Tie Me Up", "The Forbidden Room", and "Shanghai Foreign Brothel"

I never understood why women would develop strange feelings for the male protagonist after being abused, until I read Li Yinhe's "Sadomasochism Subculture", and then I learned the word "sadomasochism". Pathological sadomasochism is not advocated here.

However, it is undeniable that all women have this masochistic mentality in their hearts. It is a signal that is extremely soft and extremely feminine, and desires to be combined with strong masculinity.

Of course, neither abuse nor masochism is the essence, abuse is just a form of expression. If you can find pleasure in abuse, that's fine.

But some men may only have a superficial understanding and think that women like to be abused, so they abuse her as much as possible, treat her badly, and even hurt her. Wrong, this will only scare women away. This is a very subtle psychology, a technique that can be either gentle or rough, and used alternately. This is just like management, only by using both kindness and strictness can you truly retain people.