Seven mentalities of women can easily destroy marriage

Any love is mutual, there are no complete rights and no absolute obligations. There is a saying that says it very well: "We are all angels with one wing, and we can only fly when we are united." So why can't some combinations fly? This may be attributed to the seven mentalities in marriage. To keep love long-lasting, we must eliminate this mentality!

1. High expectations for marriage

From falling in love to getting married, we have been "deceiving" ourselves with our own fantasies. This "deception" is more often unconscious, blind, and transcends time and space. It is a fantasy that can equate a passionate love relationship with a "passionate" marriage.

Because of the impact of passion and the packaging of sweet words, people have very high expectations for life after marriage. The beautiful marriage in fantasy replaces the real marriage. The story of Snow White and the prince has evolved into the embodiment of "high standards" and "strict requirements" in married life. This is a kind of outer packaging that we artificially add to marriage, that is, our high expectations for marriage.

Once this beautiful fantasy and artificial packaging are replaced by the trivialities of married life, as the needs after marriage cannot be met, the emotions of disappointment and despair will come to us like "dark clouds covering the city" accompanied by a feeling of being cheated. In fact, it is not that the person has deceived you, but your high expectations of marriage have deceived you.

2. Overly self-respecting and sensitive mentality

In marriage life, moderate self-esteem and sensitivity is a good mentality, but excessive self-esteem and sensitivity will push one's marriage to a dead end. The instructions before marriage were strictly followed, but after marriage, we were required to embezzle money according to the instructions. One was attentive, while the other was lazy. The contrast between before and after marriage forced our self-esteem into a narrow path. One of the spouses will feel that his or her spouse is looking down on and disrespecting him or her.

In order to defend their own dignity, they become overly "self-respecting" and sensitive to the other party's words, deeds and actions, especially to a word or action said or done by the other party inadvertently, and they will be "interested" for a long time. To put it nicely, this mentality is called excessive love, and to put it bluntly, it is called neurosis. If desensitization is not done in time, it will only accelerate the other party's rebellious psychology and psychological heaviness in the long run.

3. The mentality of shirking responsibility

There are bound to be storms in life, and difficulties and setbacks in marriage. When storms come, what is most needed is the responsibility and solidarity of both parties, rather than mutual blame, escape and shirking.

Choosing a person, a marriage and a life are all your own decisions. Since it is your own choice, you should have the courage to face and bear everything. Shifting and evading responsibilities will only lead to complaints that prompt and aggravate the disintegration of the relationship between two people.

4. The mentality of expecting returns

The marriage of some couples is like pulling a big saw. How much I give to you is how much you have to give back to me; if I treat you well, you have to treat me well, otherwise, the big saw cannot be pulled.

If one party does not do well enough or does not love enough, the other party's disappointment, worry and unhappiness will come as expected. All the past happiness will be easily ignored, and worry and unhappiness will not be so easy to dispel. Once this emotion permeates into marriage life, it can easily lead to one party's loss of control of their mentality and psychological imbalance. Emotional deviation is likely to lead to deviation in marriage.

5. Disrespectful attitude

After being married for a long time, you will think that the other person is already yours, and you will not care about what the other person says or does. You will be very casual in everything from the way you speak to the handling of family affairs, and you will rarely consider the other person's feelings and attitudes.

In fact, in a family, respect is the basis of love and harmonious coexistence between husband and wife. Many unpleasantness that occurs when a couple gets along is due to the handling of some small matters, because one party does not respect the other, which leads to a quarrel between the couple.

Some couples even start a long-lasting psychological battle to save face, and the cold war becomes a common occurrence that devours love. Once love is shrouded in such a bad atmosphere, how can the warmth between husband and wife last long?

6. An Intolerant Mindset

In a family, whether one is capable or not, and whether one does things well or not are relative but not absolute. Many things are transformed from not knowing how to do them to knowing how to do them, and only in the process of doing them will there be a qualitative change from not knowing how to do them. Therefore, whenever a couple does something, they should try not to force or blame each other, and they should not be picky.

However, many couples do not understand this principle. If something does not go their way, they will blame the other party. Over time, the accused party will not only not feel that they have done something wrong, but will instead develop a mentality of fighting back.

Due to long-term repression and dissatisfaction, it is inevitable that the relationship between husband and wife will cool down. If the repressed emotions are not released in time, the repression and dissatisfaction between each other will explode at any time.

7. Over-dependence mentality

The emotional and psychological interdependence between husband and wife can deepen the love between them, but excessive dependence may become an emotional and psychological burden to each other. On the surface, excessive dependence is a manifestation of love, but in fact it is a kind of plunder and possession of love.

Normal dependence is a state of mutual support and psychological satisfaction. If you exceed this support and state, you will begin to doubt your love, suspecting that the other person no longer loves you, or that their love for you is not strong enough or deep enough. After repeated doubts, love will drift away from you again and again.