Why do men think other people’s wives are always better?

There is a limerick: Holding the lady's hand is like going back to eighteen or nineteen; holding the lover's hand is like drinking Moutai; holding the wife's hand is like the left hand holding the right hand!

Why are other people’s wives always better? After careful consideration, I found that there is a lot of knowledge in it.

1. Distance creates beauty

After getting married, a man lives with his wife day and night, together in the same circle, and is very close to her. After a while, the novelty of his wife's words and deeds will gradually disappear, and he will be able to see everything about his wife's words and deeds, so he will begin to disapprove of it.

And looking at other women is just like looking at his own wife, full of curiosity and novelty. The reason why it is fresh is because there is a certain distance, just like seeing flowers in the fog, hazy and vague, neither clear nor unclear. Men can only capture the superficial phenomena but cannot see the substantial things.

As the saying goes: A short absence is better than a new marriage. It also means that distance creates beauty. I believe many friends who have experienced this have deeply experienced this. To give an analogy: A wife is like a book. When you first get her, you will be very interested in her and read her diligently without sleeping or eating. When you have finished reading it, and you know the plot by heart, you will throw it aside. In contrast, a newly published book is sure to generate a lot of interest in you. This is the most common metaphor that other people's wives always look better than your own.

2. Different angles of appreciation

The perspective from which a husband appreciates his wife is completely different from the perspective from which he appreciates other women. A man looks at his wife from the perspective of his husband. The husband always hopes that his wife is perfect, better than others, and can be both a housewife and a cook. Some men want their wives to be ladies in the living room, sluts in the bed, and nannies in the kitchen.

Men look at other women mostly from the perspective of friends, colleagues, and classmates. They must be humble and friendly in their interactions and behave like gentlemen at all times. Even when they are looking at women on the street, they think that every woman passing by is beautiful.

From this perspective, when you see other women, they are of course very cute, gentle, considerate, beautiful and charming, and you feel that your wife lacks grace. In short, this kind of "perfection-seeking mentality" often compares one's own strengths with his wife's weaknesses, so he feels that his wife is not satisfactory.

3. Different mentality

When interacting with a woman outside of marriage, one often desires the other person's trust, favor and even love. So they try to please each other, deliberately cover up their own shortcomings, and try their best to show their superiority. Originally this woman was a "Hedong Lion Roaring", but at this moment she would speak softly and be tender and affectionate; originally she was a "Hermes Devil of the East China Sea", but at this moment she would be charming and graceful.

It’s different with a wife, she lives with you at home every day, she won’t act pretentiously, and there’s no need to hide anything. Add to that the burden of life, household chores, and conflicts, and quarrels are inevitable. Once a person's mood is affected, he will become more and more disgusted with his wife's shortcomings, and will find everything unpleasant. He will think of other people's strengths and, of course, say that other people's wives are good.

4. Different psychological feelings

When a couple has been together for a long time, they will develop the mentality of "living in a room with orchids for a long time without smelling their fragrance", which is a factor of psychological saturation. Take for granted the good qualities of your wife. For example, braised pork tastes delicious, but if you eat it every day, I believe you will get tired of it, and you may even lose your appetite. This psychological feeling makes it difficult for you to appreciate Xi Shi's beauty even if you are with her every day.

Every couple is united because of love. Before marriage, you must think that your wife is the most lovely person in the world, better than anyone else, so you mobilize all your wisdom to pursue her. Feeling that your wife is inferior to others after marriage is just a psychological illusion. To be fair, it is your wife who shares your joys and sorrows, your wife who shares your happiness and sorrows, your wife who accompanies you through life and death, and your wife who is still your wife when you are in the most difficult time and need help the most.

5. The primitive attraction between men and women

The most fundamental reason for having contact with other women outside of marriage is the mutual attraction between men and women, which is an instinct. A famous American psychologist said that the best person for a man to confide his emotions is a woman, and the best person for a woman to confide her emotions is a man.

Therefore, we can always find in the chat room that pairs of men and women are chatting underwater as if they were a perfect match. Of course, people of the same sex also chat with each other, but the chats are far less in depth and length than those between men and women.

6. When a couple gets along for a long time, it is inevitable that there will be some conflicts.

Everyone has shortcomings of one kind or another. This is true for men, and women are no exception. As a wife, caught in the symphony of firewood, rice, oil, salt, pots and pans, the complicated housework makes her inevitably unhappy. Especially nowadays, men have many shortcomings, such as smoking, drinking, playing cards and gambling, often coming home late at night, etc., so women will of course say a few words.

Furthermore, it is a woman's nature to love nagging. If it is during a woman's menstrual cycle, she will treat even the smallest matter as a big deal. It is common for her to lose her temper, which often makes men furious and at a loss as to what to do. The man then sighed: How could I marry such a fierce wife? Look how good that woman is!

But it is different for women outside of marriage. Other women don’t have to live with you and don’t have to worry about eating, drinking, defecating and urinating. Being with you is the most wonderful time, so there is nothing to nag about and no basis for conflict.

If this woman is your lover, then the words she says will make you infatuated. Even if you have to go through fire and water for her, you will not refuse. And your lover will also accept your shortcomings.

If another woman marries you, you will soon make the same sigh. In the eyes of other men, your wife is very outstanding.

Therefore, men should always think about this: their wives are the ones they pursued with great effort. Their wives have not changed, but their feelings have changed.