Which is more terrible, mental or physical infidelity?

It is best to be mentally prepared to face the imperfections of a relationship. You and I need one more chance to save ourselves from unexpected infidelity. Which one is more willing to compromise, and which one will never regret? Is it "being in Cao's camp but with a heart in Han", or "leaving the body but with a heart still there"?

(Male) 40 years old Business management

The traditional Chinese view is that spiritual infidelity does not count as infidelity - "it's just a thought, it's not really done" - this is like emphasizing that "stealing a book does not count as stealing". It's just an excuse for oneself, to cover up one's mistake, in order to achieve a sanctimonious self-exoneration.

Psychologically speaking, men will be particularly concerned about whether physical things happen when a woman is involved with others; while women will be particularly concerned about whether their lovers have betrayed them spiritually. What they can least tolerate is "he doesn't love me anymore, he cares more about others."

If I am destined to be betrayed once by someone I deeply love, I would rather she only betray me physically rather than betray me mentally. A "one-night stand" may end with a breakup after dawn. It is a short-term behavior and there will be no more "aftereffects" for both parties. On the contrary, spiritual ambiguity may have a "long-term effect" and its destructive power on the family and the original strong relationship is far greater than the former. I can't imagine that when she was entangled with me, there was the shadow of another person in her heart. This is too scary.

But, to be honest, I would rather not make such assumptions and choices. If possible, it is best not to have any kind of infidelity, because once it happens, the relationship will become half-cooked rice that can never be cooked, and a cracked bowl that can never be repaired.

(Female) 26 years old Toy designer

There is a difference in the degree of horror of "mental infidelity" and "physical infidelity" between men and women. For a woman who already has a stable boyfriend or a family, if she has physical contact with another person, it must be that she is mentally attracted and seduced by this person, and thus lost. She cannot help herself because she is obsessed with this special man. However, for a man, it is completely different. Under the influence of hormones, his body will undergo a chemical reaction and he will be burning with desire. Simple physical infidelity has little to do with who the object is.

If many women find out that their boyfriends or husbands have cheated, they will often cry and ask him how far he has gone with that woman. If they get a definite answer of "not that yet", they will feel relieved with relief, but just a little jealous. But if they find out that he couldn't control himself because he received a midnight call in a hotel, my God! He will definitely throw everything he has into pieces and will not be able to live like this anymore. In fact, she didn't know that the latter might have just indulged himself because of temporary physical needs, not that he fell in love with someone he had only met once; the former was much more complicated and terrifying than the latter. Think about it, if he starts to be emotionally dependent on another person and starts to have an affair with him, what does that have to do with you? What role are you playing?

(Male) 32 years old Network support

I always feel that everyone, more or less, sooner or later, will experience the signs of spiritual infidelity: an ambiguous look in the eyes when looking away after being drunk, an encounter in the online world, a first love figure reunited at an alumni gathering, a heartbeat after work...

From a man's perspective, I don't quite agree with the term "mental infidelity" because I feel that once the mind has cheated, physical infidelity is only a matter of time. If a man tells me that he and another woman have only ever had a platonic, spiritual relationship, I can only maliciously guess that he is either being "mean and repressed" or that there must be some kind of obstacle.

I am just a mortal who grew up eating vegetables and rice, so of course I can't be immune to worldly things. So I don't believe that once I have the intention to steal, I can always stay calm. I remember when I was dating my wife, I loved her so much that I couldn't help but occasionally flirt with her online. As a man, being only in spirit is no different from being a vegetarian. So I was eager to see the other person's photos, and then sent a lot of invitations for video chats. Fortunately, my wife was smart and threatened me with crying, making a fuss, and then saying goodbye in time. Otherwise, if the situation had continued, I would probably have made an appointment to "meet on the tower" or something like that. If I wasn't careful, the passion would burst out, and I might have done something that would let down the organization. After marriage, I knew that I couldn't stand the test, so I tried to stay away from temptation. I finally tricked my wife into marrying me, and turned a virgin into an old woman. I had to be fair to her, and she was also not an easy person to deal with. So I became more "unlucky". Forget about having the "courage to commit crimes". I didn't even dare to have the "intent to commit crimes", hehe.

Having an extramarital affair also has health risks. It would be troublesome if you accidentally get infected with AIDS. If you can't control your body, you need to carry Durex double-safety condoms with you.