6 rhythms to keep in sync when getting along with both sexes

Reality is not a fairy tale. Choosing the frog but complaining every day about not turning into a prince is a torture for both parties. Happiness is a choice. When you choose a person, it means you have to face his advantages and disadvantages at the same time. When you are with him, you need to make 6 adjustments to your psychology, and you will find that happiness is so plain and simple.

1. Men like beautiful women instinctively, but they also need something else psychologically; women sometimes cater to men in order to win their favor, but in the end complain that they are not respected. How should women solve this problem?

This is because she has no respect for herself.

There are two types of pandering. One is alms, which is an excessive pity and actually contains contempt with a sense of superiority. The other is to make sacrifices for others or suppress oneself. This is not dedication, but actually contains desire - disguising oneself as a sheep and blending into the flock with the purpose of eating mutton. If one fails to eat it in the end, he will get angry.

For example, if you have a wild personality, in order to get him, you pretend to be a good girl. After you get together, he gives you a hairpin, but you actually hope he will give you leopard print underwear...but the hairpin is what fits his image and preference of a good girl. You gain intimacy through disguise, but feel that he does not respect the real you. This shows that you did not respect him or yourself at the beginning.

There is a difference between catering to and keeping in tune, just like there is a difference between compromise and tolerance: tolerance is acceptance after willing understanding, while compromise is forcing oneself to accept it.

2. Women want men to be practical and romantic. How to deal with this contradiction?

There are two problems here. The first is that you cannot want to marry the dashing Ximen Qing and expect him to be loyal to only one person like Wu Dalang. When you choose a man, it is impossible to choose only his strengths and ignore his weaknesses. This is the basic requirement for everyone to accept another person. You need to understand what comes first in your value ranking. You cannot satisfy the first value and then think that the second value is the most important. Women must learn to control and manage their desires.

On the other hand, we must learn to appreciate different kinds of beauty. Love is romantic and intense at the beginning; it is impossible to be like this after three years of marriage; after seven years, there are conflicting aesthetics and you have to learn to understand each other; after ten years, it is mutual support... The content of different emotional stages is different, and you have to learn to improve your aesthetic ability instead of requiring things around you to conform to your inherent aesthetic standards.

3. Some girls pretend to be innocent and pure, thinking that this is the only way to win love. Isn’t it tiring?

Life is not a chapter. When this chapter ends, a new one begins. Sooner or later, you will return to your true self.

Pretend to get married, pretend to have children? Today's family values ​​are no longer the same as those in the 1960s and 1970s. People think that divorce is an adult matter, and children are not a bond, so they will not lose a father or mother because of divorce. So you keep pretending until you get old?

So women have to find someone who likes and can accept their true selves, but being true to themselves does not mean being a strong woman outside and at home. Women can have multiple roles. You can have different states in the company, in front of friends, and in front of your husband.

4. Some girls like to play and have fun. Men are very happy when they first date them, but they can't stand it and become upset after a while... Why is that?

When attraction first arises, you must find the other person interesting. This interest may include protection, challenge... This is instinct, but fun does not mean it works. This is the essential difference between love and marriage. Love is fun, but marriage needs to be practical. It doesn’t require a playmate but a companion or a partner. This is a mature concept.

I once encountered a case like this. The woman was very childish. Her husband had been very good to her for seven years, but suddenly she firmly filed for divorce and said, "I gave her seven years and used a very good environment to guide her to mature, but she didn't change. She never paid attention to me and only cared about her own hobbies and fun. Since she didn't love me, why should we be together?" The woman was completely shocked after this incident and found out that what she loved was not him, but his conditions. What she loved was the environment he provided for her to live and have fun without having to consider the real troubles. A very important point in marriage is to grow together and support each other.

5. How do you think a woman loves herself?

If a woman loves herself, she should never be a housewife. A housewife is not a role in itself but a profession. She devotes energy, emotion and time to her family just like she does to her job. However, China does not regard this as a profession. If a housewife does not get the salary, sense of accomplishment and social recognition that she gets from a job, she will inevitably feel lost. You may feel satisfied when you see your children grow up healthily and your home is clean, but if you do these things well, it is your duty, and if you do not do them well, it is a sin. So if a woman truly loves herself, she will establish a stable possibility for others to buy her flowers to wear.

6. In a relationship between two people, can you hold a man by sex?

Yes, many arguments in the living room are caused by disagreements in the bedroom.

Men like sex and they also like new challenges. If all he depends on is sex, you lose, but if he depends on the sex you bring, then you win. For example, you can dress up as Marilyn Monroe or Sora Aoi, but as long as he is doing it with the person you are pretending to be, and not really doing it with someone else, it's fine. The most beautiful woman is the one who knows how to move. In modern times, I think movement is a form of change. A man's sexual needs last throughout his life. You just need to change and move around so that he can get the new and exciting things he likes from you.