The higher the education level, the easier it is for couples to break up.

Relatively speaking, people with higher education have higher IQ, but is their EQ also proportional to their IQ? NO. Getting along with others tests everyone's emotional intelligence even more. The same is true for marriage. It takes certain skills to manage a good marriage.

Marriages of highly educated couples = easier to break up?

In fact, many highly educated people often overlook the importance of cultivating marital relationships for various reasons, and thus lack the wisdom to deal with marital problems. Marriage is a state of "symbiosis" in which both husband and wife must properly control their excessive self-awareness and understand and tolerate each other. From a psychological perspective, highly educated couples have stronger self-awareness and are more likely to deny and belittle each other.

Moreover, some highly educated people, because they have become experts in certain fields, are more likely to be overly self-assertive in marriage and find it difficult to accept the other party's views. They often suppress the other party in order to prove the correctness of their own views.

Emotional intelligence, also known as emotional intelligence, is a concept proposed by psychologists in recent years that corresponds to intelligence and IQ. Emotional intelligence mainly refers to a person's qualities in terms of emotions, feelings, will, and tolerance to frustration.

Scientists have found that people with damage to the part of the brain that controls emotions (the limbic system) can reason and think clearly and logically, but the decisions they make are very low-level. Scientists therefore concluded that when the thinking part of the brain is completely separated from the emotion, the brain cannot function properly. When humans perform normal actions, they use a combination of two parts of the brain: the emotional part and the logical part. A person with high emotional intelligence will make comprehensive use of various parts of the brain and use the cerebral cortex in most cases.

What should we pay attention to in marriage life?

Don't use your IQ to deal with marriage problems

Marriage is actually a duet. Both people must adjust their pace and coordinate with each other. To complete this dance, you need not only high IQ but also high EQ. The reason why many highly educated couples end up becoming solo dancers is because their IQ and EQ are not proportional. Academic elites in a certain field often have high IQs, but may have low EQs when dealing with emotional issues.

The cultivation of emotional intelligence often requires constant communication with others. People with high emotional intelligence can experience, regulate and express their emotions freely, while at the same time perceive, accept and regulate the emotions of others, ultimately achieving emotional resonance between people. Wonderful love is often the product of highly resonant emotions. If you always argue about who is right and who is wrong in your marriage, then you are dealing with emotions in the same way as you deal with intellectual problems. No wonder there are so many disputes.

Don't bring your career problems home

For highly educated couples to achieve a high-quality marriage, on the one hand, they need to overcome the obstacle of "intellectualizing everything", learn to give their minds a rest in their emotional life, and be able to freely communicate and resonate emotionally with their partner. You need to learn to empathize and identify your partner's feelings, while releasing your own emotions and sharing them with the other person.

On the other hand, people with high education should pay attention to separating their personal life and career. At work, you can stick to your own opinions; but at home, you have to humble your strong self so that you can hear the voice of your partner's heart and empathize with him or her. In addition, you must be gentle in your marriage life. When you deal with problems in a loving way, things will not be so complicated.

Can emotional intelligence be developed?

In addition to paying attention to the boundaries of marital life, we can also cultivate and improve our emotional intelligence through acquired cultivation. An outstanding person may not have a high IQ, but he must have a high EQ. There are actually simple and easy ways to improve your emotional intelligence. All you need is persistence.

Set invisible boundaries for yourself

You may think that having unclear boundaries with others is a good thing, because it allows everyone to get along as they please without having to engage in intense bargaining with each other. This may sound reasonable, but the downside is that other people often hurt your feelings without you even realizing it.

In fact, if you pay close attention to your surroundings, you will easily find that people with poor boundary ability are prone to pathological phobia. They will not confront the aggressor, but prefer to confide in a third party. If we are the one who violated someone else's psychological boundaries, we will feel like a cold-blooded fool after discovering the truth. At the same time, we feel hurt because we blame ourselves for our mistakes and we are also angry that a third party has gotten involved and is judging us.

Clear boundaries are good for everyone. You have to understand what others can and cannot do to you. When someone violates your psychological boundaries, tell him or her so that you can correct it. If you always have trouble drawing clear psychological boundaries, then you need to improve your level of cognition.

Learn to control your emotions

Scientific experiments have proven that when we become overly tense under stress, blood does leave the cerebral cortex, causing us to behave abnormally. At this time, the animal nature in the brain takes over, causing us to act like the most primitive animals. You know, in civilized society, behaving like a primitive animal can get you into big trouble.

There are many strategies for controlling emotional outbursts, and one of them is to pay attention to your heart rate, which is an accurate measure of your emotions. When your heart rate reaches over 100 beats per minute, it's crucial to calm down. At this rate, the body secretes much more adrenaline than usual. We would lose our minds and turn into aggressive crickets.

When the blood starts to flow to the limbs again, we can calm down by saying to ourselves, "I'm calming down" or "Everything will pass."

Distinguish between complaints and action changes

We call endless complaining nagging. Complaining takes energy without producing any results, does nothing to solve the problem, and rarely makes us feel better.

Almost all of us find that we feel better if we vent our grievances to a sympathetic third party who can join us in our anger. When someone says to you, "Poor baby," it is a great comfort to you, your stress seems to be relieved, and you can face the situation again, even though nothing has changed.

But if you don't complain, you will feel tremendous psychological pressure. Stress is not a bad thing sometimes. Yes, it may make you feel uncomfortable, but it is also the force that motivates you to make changes. Once the pressure is reduced, people tend to maintain the status quo. However, if the stress is not released through complaining, it will accumulate and reach a limit, forcing you to take action to change the situation.

Therefore, when you are about to complain to a sympathetic friend, ask yourself first: Do I want to reduce the pressure and maintain the status quo, or do I want the pressure to continue and motivate me to change everything? If it is the former, then get rid of the pressure by complaining. Everyone complains sometimes, and it makes us feel better temporarily. But if the situation really needs to change, make up your mind and take action!

Once you become a person with high emotional intelligence, you will find that it will be much easier to face many difficult problems. Perhaps you will discover more wonderful things about marriage, and it will also be of greater help to your career and life. Relatively speaking, people with higher education have higher IQ, but is their EQ also proportional to their IQ? NO. Getting along with others tests everyone's emotional intelligence even more. The same is true for marriage. It takes certain skills to manage a good marriage.