Young men have strong sexual psychology

I have received many letters from young men recently. Most of their questions are about basic sexual knowledge, or they repeatedly debate whether masturbation is right or wrong. One of the netizens touched on the issue of sexual psychology, which may represent the psychological characteristics of a certain group of young men between the ages of 18 and before marriage. He should have replied to me, but in order to help more people with similar confusion, I have posted it here. This young male netizen asked "Who is more passionate about sex, men or women?" and mentioned that he realized through television and movies that men are more interested in sex than women and that women give more in sex, so he is afraid to contact women for fear of hurting them. Here is my reply:

If "heat" is understood as sexual desire and sexual ability, at least there is no research data to prove any overall difference in the sexual desire and sexual ability of men and women. The attached figure in my previous blog "Why do people say "women are like wolves at 30 and like tigers at 40" - Women need sexual learning" illustrates the difference in sexual desire and sexual ability between men and women at different ages. In other words, the difference in sexual desire between men and women only manifests itself in different age stages. After their 30s, women have stronger sexual desire and sexual ability than men.

The main reason for the phenomenon seen on TV and in movies that men are more interested in sex than women and women make more efforts is the patriarchal social culture we live in, which emphasizes male sexual initiative and suppresses female sexual expression. It is an honorable and culturally encouraged thing for men to show strong sexual desire. One-sided emphasis is placed on women's chastity and the pain of losing virginity, while no demand is placed on men's chastity. Another possible reason is that the roles played by male actors who show strong sexual desire in movies and TV shows are likely to be mostly young men under 40 years old. This does not mean that men of all ages are more interested than women. What's more, there are still many movies that emphasize the painful experiences of women when their sexual needs are not met, such as "Ju Dou" and "Qiu Ju's Lawsuit" starring Gong Li. There are also many contents expressing women's sexual needs in ancient Chinese classic novels. The question is: Why does this netizen always focus on scenes where women have negative emotions during sex?!

As for avoiding contact with women because of the fear of being hurt after making efforts, it is obviously a retreat behavior due to lack of confidence. Perhaps the deeper reason behind this behavior is the fear of facing the responsibilities that come with growing up and becoming independent, and they would rather return to the carefree days of being a little boy. However, avoidance and retreat will only lead to a vicious cycle, wasting time and youth. Only by taking positive actions, adapting yourself in interactions with the opposite sex, believing that you can win her heart, believing that you have the ability to bring happiness to the woman you love, and learning to give, contribute, and share happiness with each other, can you achieve physical and mental maturity and growth in sexual interactions.

What's more, both men and women have to give during sex, but giving does not necessarily mean pain. When you give someone a rose, the fragrance lingers on your hands. Giving willingly is more joyful than receiving, while giving under pressure is painful! If a woman gives in exchange for the happiness of her beloved man, and the man's happiness is her happiness, what's wrong with that?! In fact, what makes women most disappointed and angry is precisely men's indecision, silence and closed-mindedness.

No rainbow without wind and rain. This is true for career and sex as well. Instead of withdrawing into yourself, open your arms and embrace your lover. I watch the flowers bloom and fall in the courtyard, and the clouds roll and unfold in the sky.