Remarried couples must have this "awkward" problem

For remarried couples, sex life can always feel a little unnatural. From time to time, there is always a sense of comparison. Today we will see how experts answer it.

◎Old dreams are hard to revisit

After Aunt Zhang remarried, she often unconsciously compared her husband's sex life performance with that of her ex-husband. She found that her husband did not attach much importance to foreplay and sex felt a bit like serving himself.

To solve this problem, remarried women first need to focus their energy on discovering the advantages of their current husbands and not compare them with the past. Secondly, we must communicate actively. Many outstanding men do not know how to satisfy women's sexual needs during sex, so choose a time when both of you are relaxed and satisfied after sex, and tell the man: It would be better if you did this next time. A harmonious sex life cannot be achieved overnight. You need to give the other person time to adapt.

◎ Age mismatch

Uncle Wang is 60 years old and remarried not long ago. His wife is more than 10 years younger than him. Although he loved her very much, he couldn't help but worry about what would happen if he couldn't meet her sexual needs?

For this kind of couple combination, the physiological differences are irreversible, so the adjustment of sexual problems mainly depends on sincere love and mutual understanding. When choosing the time and position for sexual intercourse, more consideration should be given to the needs of the older partner. Men over 60 and women over 50 are bound to experience sexual dysfunction such as erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation, and vaginal dryness. At this time, they should not be afraid to seek medical treatment and should seek treatment as soon as possible. In addition, the sexual life of the elderly is mostly to satisfy the desire for contact and touch, so frequent hugging and caressing is more important.

◎Long-term inadaptability

Teacher Han found his other half five years after his divorce. After marriage, he found that he had difficulty getting an erection in front of his lover. He is just in his early forties. Will he never be able to have sex again?

If you don't have sex for a long time, both men and women need a period of adaptation. Just like not riding a bike for a long time, you will always feel a little unfamiliar when you touch it again. But you have to believe that the skills are already "mastered" and it is only a matter of time before you regain the feeling.

In fact, many remarried women will encounter the same problem, and many people will even develop vaginal spasm due to anxiety like their first marriage. It is this fear of remarried sexual life that suppresses the natural sexual response and causes sexual failure, which in turn increases this anxiety, forming a vicious circle.

At this time, the understanding and guidance of your partner are the most important. If there is no obvious improvement after two or three months of self-adjustment, you can seek treatment from a sex therapist or doctor.

◎ Unable to let go

Sister Jiang had a very good relationship with her ex-husband. After her ex-husband passed away, she took a long time to adjust before remarrying. But when faced with her husband's sexual demands, she always felt sorry for her ex-husband.

When a spouse dies in middle age, many people avoid rebuilding a family due to grief. Even if they remarry, many of them, especially women, will feel guilty.

In fact, the greatest comfort to a deceased spouse is to come out of the shadow of widowhood and start a happy life again. You can start by catering to your husband's other needs and building a sense of understanding in other aspects of life. For example, if he likes fishing, you can go with him; if he likes playing ball, even if you don’t play, you might as well sit on the sidelines often. The more compatible two people are, the easier it will be to have sex. If necessary, you can seek help from a psychologist.