Common problems that affect couples’ intimacy

The intimate relationship between husband and wife should be based on the sense of security of mutual dependence. The development, continuation and even maintenance of this intimate relationship depends on frequent tenderness and consideration, giving comfort and satisfaction to each other, so that both husband and wife feel loved at all times. However, in the process of building an intimate relationship between couples, the obstacles they encounter are various. Only by overcoming these obstacles can intimate relationships be well established.

1. The habit of criticism:

Many couples have the habit of criticizing each other casually, hoping to improve each other's appearance or behavior through criticism, and it becomes an unconscious inertia - always nitpicking on small matters and exposing each other's flaws from time to time in daily life conversations. It is difficult to cultivate intimate relationships in such a disharmonious environment. Therefore, when dealing with a marital relationship, one should "listen" to what one says and reflect on it. If one has a tendency to criticize the other party, one should change it as soon as possible and replace negative criticism with constructive praise and encouragement. In this way, couples will often spend time together, sharing and communicating honestly.

2. Simmering anger and dissatisfaction:

If there is even a little anger and hostility between a couple, no matter how it is concealed or suppressed, it will stifle the growth of love. Many boring and dull marriages are actually caused by the anger and resentment accumulated in the hearts of both parties, which cannot be expressed openly and must be suppressed and concealed. Couples often end up in this situation because they don't solve problems immediately after they arise. Sometimes, in order to keep things peaceful, couples will deliberately avoid the forefront of a conflict and try to suppress their anger. Sometimes, couples appear to be in love and pretend that nothing is wrong, but in fact, both of them are full of complaints and grievances. As long as the problem remains unresolved, it may come back to haunt them one day, and the consequences will be even more difficult to deal with. Quarrels may seem embarrassing at times, but they are much better than remaining silent. Because the essence of quarreling is that one party tries hard to make the other party understand him or her. Usually when people quarrel, the underlying purpose is to make the other party understand and accept their position. Arguing can sometimes bring new understanding between couples. It can be said that having a big argument is sometimes better than suppressing one’s opinions and emotions, which often leads to resentment and indifference. Indifference is love's greatest enemy. A quarrel between a couple at least shows that they are still "discussing" (a discussion with heated words). However, quarreling is not necessarily a good thing. Even if a quarrel is unavoidable, two rules must be followed: first, the quarrel must produce a result and resolve the problem; second, the quarrel must be limited to the conflict at hand and the matter must not be settled or dig up the past.

3. Distrust of spouse or oneself:

Mutual trust is an important factor in promoting intimacy between husband and wife. There is a type of person who always feels that his or her self-image is too poor and lacks confidence in himself or herself. At the same time, he or she always feels that others, even his or her spouse, look down on him or her. Such people are afraid of getting close to others and often feel that they are worthless. In order to cover up this "fact", they try to distance themselves from others, even their relatives. Some people are afraid to invest too much emotion because they have been hurt in this regard. Especially those who were not accepted by their parents during childhood. In fact, the trauma left by those painful experiences can be healed through intimate love. As a spouse, you need to be patient, loving, and willing to spend time to win your partner's trust. Love is a reciprocal relationship. As long as you fully trust the other person and trust yourself, and devote your feelings without hesitation, an intimate relationship will be established.

4. Worrying about your appearance:

Being concerned about your own body will often directly affect your sexual life. If a person has a defect in a certain part of his body and always focuses on this defect and thinks that his spouse must also care about this defect, then it will be difficult for him to reveal himself to the other party and it will be difficult to concentrate on the joy of love. In fact, this inferiority complex attitude is unnecessary. Despite your physical defects, your spouse does not care about it because he loves you.

5. Lack of keen sense:

If a couple can be sensitive to their spouse's needs, their marriage will become sweeter and sweeter. On the other hand, a person who is insensitive and unresponsive to his or her spouse's desires and needs will have great difficulty developing emotional intimacy. Therefore, if you want to develop an intimate relationship, you must pay full attention to your spouse's needs and meet them in a warm and delicate way.

6. Lack of physical contact other than sex:

Physical, emotional, and mental contact between husband and wife are equally important. Couples need physical contact other than sex in order to maintain their love. Emotional and sexual intimacy cannot flourish unless it is fostered through frequent, tender, sensitive, relaxed contact without fear of rejection or misunderstanding. An intimate relationship requires couples to make full use of hugging, cuddling, holding hands and kissing. Unfortunately, after getting married, most people only use physical contact to signal when they want to have sex. We must understand that sex cannot satisfy all the desires in our hearts for physical and emotional contact. To build an intimate relationship, maintaining contact is essential.

7. Watching Too Much TV:

On the surface, this factor may seem less important than the ones mentioned above. But you must know that watching TV cultivates passivity in people; curling up on the sofa and staring at the TV is enough to make people have no motivation and energy to develop intimate relationships. Television has a great hypnotic effect, which even makes people unaware of how much time they have wasted in front of the TV. Television is often a source of friction between couples. For example, one spouse likes to stay up late and watch evening shows, while the other expects him or her to go to bed early. Sometimes television is also used as a tool to escape from sexual life. So is it worth spending your life passively staring at the TV?