Why do men like prostitution so much?

What is the charm of prostitution that attracts so many men? Is it the normal release of human nature, a deformed disease, or the original sin of the dark human nature? A combination of historical, cultural, physiological and psychological reasons determine that some men are more willing to explore strange women, and among various forms of sexual activities, prostitution is often the most cost-effective option. Yu Dafu, a writer in the Republic of China, never imagined that he would lose his virginity to a prostitute. It was a snowy afternoon. Yu Dafu, who was studying in Nagoya, Japan, could not bear the loneliness in his heart and boarded a bus to Tokyo. In the middle of the night, when the car stopped at a small roadside station, Yu Dafu, driven by hot wine and desire, resolutely jumped out of the car, wrapped his head and face with a scarf, and shouted to the rickshaw driver to pull him to the "high building of the brothel." When he woke up the next morning, the snow outside the window had cleared and a large body of sunlight shone into the house, but Yu Dafu was in a terrible mood. Looking at a "fat, white, tall and strong" prostitute lying naked and sleeping soundly beside him, he "could not help but shed two tears." "It's not worth it! It's not worth it! What's left of my ideals, my aspirations, my passion for the country? What's left?" Yu Dafu recalled his frustration at the time in his autobiographical essay "Snowy Night". That year, Yu Dafu was 20 years old. But he soon forgave himself on the return train: "Just sink to the bottom! If you don't go to hell, how can you see the Buddha nature? Life is actually a complicated maze."

After that, Yu Dafu became a frequent visitor to brothels. After returning to China and teaching in Anqing, Anhui, he uniquely set three conditions for his hunting targets: old; ugly; and no one is interested in them - in the movie "Dear Mr. West", the director and supporting actor also stated similar standards in person. The reason was that such women did not have good business, so he served them especially attentively. Yu Dafu's middle school classmate Xu Zhimo was also no stranger to prostitution. He himself disclosed it twice, and both times were during his marriage to Lu Xiaoman, a talented woman in the Republic of China. On June 25, 1931, Xu Zhimo, who left home to teach at Peking University at the invitation of Hu Shi, wrote in a letter to Lu Xiaoman: "Speaking of my visit, I haven't danced yet. I did go to a brothel once. It was Old Deng who forced me to go there. Don't worry, I won't go there again." But a few months later, he broke his promise. On October 1, 1931, Xu Zhimo once again confessed his visit to brothels in a letter to Lu Xiaoman: "In the evening, XX and others held a farewell party for Hu Shizhi at Chunhua Tower. Three or four girls were invited, and after dinner I was dragged to the alley. I'm sorry, my dear lady! I didn't want to go, but XX said it didn't matter as long as he was there." The Republic of China was the last golden age for Chinese prostitutes. In the social customs of the time, although visiting prostitutes was not glorious, it was just a minor matter and a personal ethics and was harmless. Some people even regard visiting prostitutes as their lifelong career, and the only thing that can be compared to it is studying, such as Gu Hongming and Kang Youwei, two old men of the Qing Dynasty. The former founded the famous theory of "Men are teapots, women are teacups", and the latter married six wives, but that did not stop him from having romantic debts everywhere. If we make a list of the "most influential" among them, it would be a very large and luxurious lineup: Chen Duxiu, Cai E, Yuan Shikai, Wu Peifu, Guo Moruo... even Chiang Kai-shek, who later took charge of a country, is on the list. Chiang Kai-shek, who adhered to the Neo-Confucianism of the Song and Ming dynasties throughout his life, had always been struggling with lust when he was young. While he was abstaining from lust, he was also committing lust. He recorded this faithfully in his diary. For example, when he passed through Hong Kong in his early years, he warned himself, "Hong Kong is a world of pleasure and debauchery. Whether I can withstand the test depends on today." As a result, he broke his warning that night and wrote in his diary with regret, "My problem is that I am lustful!" After 1949, with the closure of brothels, the reform of prostitutes and the illegalization of prostitution, the spring of clients came to an end. In the new ideology, clients and prostitutes have become synonymous with moral corruption and the decline of social morality. They are crimes in the open air and can only be traded in secret. But the harsh environment has not stopped some people from breaking the law at the risk of ruining their reputation, just as the imprisonment of Weibo celebrity Xue Manzi last year did not put an end to the idea of ​​actor Huang Haibo and director Wang Quanan hiring prostitutes. What is the charm of prostitution that attracts so many men? Is it the normal release of human nature, a deformed disease, or the original sin of dark human nature?

Men are born with the "romantic" factor and have the instinct to pursue multiple partners, and prostitution is relatively the lowest-cost form of sex. In his book "What Are Men?", Japanese romance writer Jun'ichi Watanabe gives his own explanation for why men love to be "romantic" based on the similarities and differences in the physiological structure of men and women. He believed that due to the physiological differences between men and women, men are in a giving position and women are in a receiving position in sexual behavior. This division of labor between giving and receiving allows them to play different roles in sexual activities. In contrast, men's sexual patterns appear to be straightforward, impulsive, and passionate. As long as there is a suitable opportunity, they want to release their desire and rarely consider what kind of woman the other person is. Women usually choose from among many donors. This is also very obvious in the combination of sperm and egg. If you observe the egg fertilization process through a microscope, you will find that the egg always stays quietly in one place, while the sperm is the active attacking party, scrambling to swim towards the egg, and the one that swims the fastest will often become the final winner. "Sperm has the instinct to rush towards the egg and enter the egg unconditionally, while the egg has the instinct to choose a candidate from countless suitors. This is the principle of sex," said Junichi Watanabe. This physiological structure determines that men are both the dominant and the conqueror in sexual activities. They are often driven by desire and curiosity to embark on an unknown journey. Once they succeed, they will shift their attention to a stranger of the opposite sex to prepare for the next conquest. To some extent, men are like hunters and explorers in terms of sex. They have a strong curiosity about unfamiliar women and their bodies, and are willing to take challenges even if it involves certain risks.

"So for men, even if they have a young and beautiful wife by their side, sometimes they can't help but want to contact other women." Jun'ichi Watanabe believes that men's strong sexual impulses are not simply influenced by the woman's appearance. "Many times, the most important thing for men is novelty. Men are driven by this desire for novelty. Sometimes, although the new woman is far inferior to their wife, she attracts their attention greatly just because she is unknown." This may explain why most men are interested in extramarital sex, and why "Wang Quanan's wife is so beautiful, why does he still visit prostitutes?" Among various forms of extramarital sex, prostitution is popular because it does not require emotional investment or responsibility, and is direct, simple, and efficient. The Kinsey Report is considered one of the "88 Books that Shaped America". The author Alfred Kinsey and his colleagues collected more than 18,000 interview cases related to human sexual behavior and sexual orientation, and then compiled them into a book. This masterpiece, which mainly reflects the sexual life of Americans in the 1940s, shows that in the United States, where sex trade is strictly prohibited in most states, 69% of men have had sex with prostitutes, many of whom have only had sex once or twice, while 15% to 20% have done so many times and for at least five consecutive years. Since prostitution omits date details such as giving gifts, watching movies, shopping, dining out, and traveling, most men believe that "prostitution is cheaper than having sex with any other girl." According to market conditions, before World War II, Americans only had to spend 1 to 5 dollars on a prostitute, but pursuing an ordinary woman would cost much more, and the worst thing was that they might not succeed in the end. "Men of all classes find it easier to visit prostitutes than to pursue a non-prostitute girl. Even most lower-class men, who find it fairly easy to have sex with girls, will go to prostitutes when they are in a hurry and don't want to put in much effort. For upper-class men, they can't have sex with any girl without long-term dating and spending a lot of money on her, so some people have to have sex with prostitutes," said Kinsey.

From this we can understand why a well-known director who can spend 6 million yuan to buy a ring for his girlfriend would spend 800 yuan to visit a prostitute - compared to acquaintances in the circle who may cause endless troubles, it is safer to find a prostitute with a low cultural level who does not recognize your face. It's not just about releasing sexual desire. In addition to buying sex from prostitutes, men can also buy physical and psychological experiences that are impossible to achieve in normal life. Last summer, the famous German photographer Bettina Flitner lurked in a brothel and stayed there for 10 consecutive days. She interviewed dozens of prostitutes, took photos of them, and asked a very explicit question: Why do you have to pay for sexual intercourse with a strange prostitute? "I can never get a woman like the one in the brothel. There I can challenge the big scale, such as anal sex. I don't have the courage to let a normal woman do this, but I can do it in a brothel, just add 100 euros." Kai, a 49-year-old divorced bank clerk with two children, told her. "Women are often annoying. If I'm too quick and don't satisfy them, they put pressure on me. I just want to get it over with and leave, that's it. I get bored of my girlfriend very quickly. Paying for sex is an affirmation of something. It's a kind of power. You own the woman and you can have sex with her whenever you want." This is the answer from Christian, a 23-year-old single young man. Bettina Flitner published these people's motives and experiences of prostitution truthfully on her website. Their answers varied. Some said it was simply because "I need sex, it excites me", while others regarded it as a part of life, "after the first time there will be a second time, and then you get used to doing it."

Bettina Flitner's interview confirmed Kinsey's conclusion to a certain extent. "To release sexual tension that cannot be released in other ways, or to seek sexual activities that only prostitutes can provide" is the primary reason why American men visit prostitutes as summarized by Kinsey. In his survey, in addition to some people who do it to vent their normal sexual desires, a considerable number of people do it to satisfy their own special sexual fetishes such as SM psychology, foreign object friction, group sex, etc., which are physiological and psychological experiences that are difficult for them to obtain in reality. Sexologist and researcher at the Institute of Sociology of the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences Li Yinhe also talked about this topic when she was interviewed by Blog China. "I haven't studied prostitutes specifically, but I have heard such a saying, for example, his wife or regular girlfriend won't let him do certain things, such as oral sex or anal sex, but if he goes to a prostitute, the prostitute is willing to do everything for him." Li Yinhe said, "In addition, I also saw a document saying that most men who go to prostitutes want to be passive. They just lie there and do nothing, letting the woman do it." Pan Suiming, director of the Institute of Sex Sociology at Renmin University of China, divides the reasons why Chinese people buy prostitution into four types: one is to buy "sexual selfishness", that is, they can ignore any reaction and feelings of the lady and do whatever they want; the second is to buy sexual skills to make up for the lack of sexual experience in normal sex life; the third is to buy "romantic femininity", which is an image of women that they rarely see in their daily lives; the fourth is to buy an intimate relationship, which often does not include sex, such as "three companions". "In short, where there is demand there is supply. What men buy from prostitutes is actually what they lack in ordinary sexual relationships," he concluded in his blog. It can be seen that men have roughly the same driving force behind why they visit prostitutes, regardless of nationality, and it has little to do with skin color, physique, etc. At present, countries around the world have different management systems for prostitution, some of which are explicitly prohibited, while others allow it to be tolerated. Kinsey believed that visiting prostitutes was not necessarily a bad thing. For example, some deformed, ugly or mentally retarded men often had no choice but to seek out prostitutes. "Without this kind of release, the social problems they caused would be more numerous and more serious."

The logic of the market economy is different from the "oppressed" image that was believed in the past. Under the market economy, there are indeed some women who are willing to choose this way of making money quickly. Sex trade is one of the oldest commercial activities in the world, appearing in the Babylonian Empire as early as 3000 BC. In her book "The World's Oldest Profession: Prostitution and Society in Ancient Greece and Rome", French historian Violaine Vanoyc stated that prostitutes were originally priestess in temples. They came from wealthy families and mainly provided religious services, standing between "God" and "prayer". Their income is one of the main sources of income for the temple. Historian Herodotus once described them like this: "Every local woman must go to the temple once in her life, sit there, and give her body to a strange man until a man throws a silver coin on her skirt and takes her out to sleep with him, otherwise she is not allowed to go home. The woman has no right to choose, she must sleep with the first man who throws money to her. When she sleeps with him and fulfills her duty to the goddess, she can go home." The earliest record of prostitution in China can be found in "The Strategies of the Warring States": "There were seven markets and seven hundred brothels in the palace of Duke Huan of Qi, and the people disapproved of it." Qing Dynasty scholar Chu Xuejia also wrote: "When Guanzi governed Qi, he set up seven hundred brothels and collected the money from their one-night stands to supplement state expenses. This is the beginning of the pollen money." Guan Zhong thus became the ancestor of brothels. During the Republic of China, statues of Guan Zhong were enshrined in brothels in Yangzhou, Zhenjiang and other places. Corresponding to the thousands of years of history of prostitutes is the equally ancient history of clients of prostitutes. Clients and prostitutes coexist, prospering together and suffering together. The era that gave birth to famous prostitutes often also gave birth to famous clients, such as Liu Yong, Bai Juyi, Zhou Bangyan, and Song Huizong. In that era when prostitution was not yet explicitly prohibited by law, they greatly enriched the literary and artistic life of the ancient Chinese because of their good prostitution skills. Li Yinhe divides the changes in China's sexual culture into three stages. The first stage was in ancient times, when people viewed sex as something natural and felt no guilt. After Neo-Confucianism became dominant in the Song and Ming dynasties, China entered the second stage. Influenced by the idea of ​​"preserving the principles of heaven and eliminating human desires," China began to adopt an anti-sexual and abstinence mindset. The third stage is after the reform and opening up, when people began to affirm sex again and believed that sex is not a bad thing. There is a sense of regression, "but it is not a complete return to ancient times. It feels like a spiral upward, with some modern concepts added in."

The Chinese people's attitude towards sex transactions has roughly evolved through these three stages. After the prostitution incident involving Huang Haibo and Wang Quanan was exposed in the media, some different voices appeared on the Internet. They changed the previous online style of verbal abuse, criticism and lashing out, and instead analyzed and viewed human nature rationally and objectively. This is what Li Yinhe hopes to see. She believes that the planned economy of the early years has blocked people's desires and sex to some extent, while the market economy is thawing them. In her opinion, China's current prostitution management system is mainly based on the social conditions in 1950. At that time, society was generally poor, and the new regime banned brothels on the grounds of rescuing women from suffering and combating class oppression. But 60 years have passed and social conditions have changed a lot. "The mentality of prostitutes nowadays is quite different from what we imagined. In the past, we always thought that they were oppressed, bullied and in need of rescue. Now it seems that this is not the case at all. Most of them do not feel that they are in dire straits. Many of them do it voluntarily. Some little girls from rural areas have become the backbone of the family, supporting their parents, building houses for the family, and sending their brothers to school..." In fact, with the development of the market economy and the improvement of women's status, prostitution is no longer a unique attribute of men, and there are also many women who hire male prostitutes. At a seminar, a representative of a sex workers' organization told Li Yinhe and others about her personal experience of soliciting male prostitutes. "She usually serves others, but now she wants others to serve her. She was very excited and said there was a line of handsome guys waiting for her to choose," Li Yinhe recounted.

Now that everyone has money, if someone wants to spend money on this, someone will immediately come to provide the service, and no matter how severe the punishment is, it cannot eliminate this phenomenon. Now it is completely a situation determined by the market. "Li Yinhe believes that the legal crackdown on prostitutes and their clients often only drives them underground, but cannot completely ban them, which in turn brings new problems. A few years ago, when she attended a symposium held by the Beijing Criminal Police Department, she learned that 37% of the more than 160 unsolved murders in Beijing in a certain year were related to prostitutes. "Because their ID cards are all fake, their families don't know what they do, and they dare not call the police when they are violated. Criminals seize their weaknesses and rob them." In recent years, Li Yinhe has been submitting proposals to the two sessions through various channels on topics such as "decriminalization of prostitution" and "cancellation of the crime of gathering for lewdness", but has rarely received a response. After Wang Quan'an was arrested for soliciting prostitution, she wrote an article titled "Sexual Desire and Its Limits" on her blog. At the end of the article, she proposed the following idea: Can we think about the internal logic of the way countries such as the Netherlands and Germany, as well as most countries in the world, deal with sex transactions? Can we learn from their successful experience and deal with the same behavior of Chinese people more reasonably?