Eight Lessons from a Failed Marriage for Women

Revelation 1: Men and women are never equal

The slogan of gender equality is shouted all the time, and both men and women strongly support this concept, but there is no doubt that it is just a slogan. In marriage, there is a clear inequality between men and women. Let me take two more eye-catching topics as examples. For instance, in the judgment of cheating behavior, although there are voices of opposition to men cheating and having mistresses, there are also many supporters. The reason for support is that men's cheating reflects their demeanor and interest. On the other hand, when we look at women cheating, we hardly hear many voices of support, but only scolding, such as shameless, despicable, slut, etc., using all kinds of ugly words. For example, when evaluating the attitudes of men and women towards the family, men may have a very legitimate reason for neglecting their family, because "men focus on their careers", but women are different. They seem to be born to take care of the family and help their husbands take care of the backyard. It is very sad that such inequality still exists in such an open society.

Revelation 2: Marriage is a road of no return

It is said that women will only get married when they are crazy. Even if women understand this truth, what can they do? How many women can escape the path of marriage? And once they embark on this path, there is no turning back. If this road can go smoothly, there is nothing wrong with it; however, once obstacles are encountered, problems will follow. The failure of a marriage leaves a huge trauma on women. Even if they can get over the pain of failure, they cannot erase the dark record of having been married. In the evaluation of married people, men and women are treated unequally. Married men are favored by women, while married women are despised by men. This inequality directly leads to the fact that when choosing to divorce, men often act very free and natural, while women often make helpless decisions after struggling.

Revelation 3: Responsibility does not mean glory

Women contribute a lot to the family, especially when they officially become housewives, they will bear more responsibilities than their husbands. Men may say that they are starting a business outside to create an economic source for their family and that their burden is not light. If women can choose, they would rather switch roles with men. After all, compared with boring housework, pursuing a career, even if it is bumpy, is also a colorful life. However, no matter how men argue, one thing is beyond doubt: the status of the family is always supreme. No matter how much money you make or how much hardship you endure, it is all for the family. Therefore, women's responsibilities are more important, but responsibility does not represent glory. No matter how well and intimately you decorate your home, a man will cheat if he says he will cheat, and will change his face if he says he will change his face. A woman's hard work is just to make wedding dresses for men.

Revelation 4: The person you love most should be yourself

Women are very selfless. They love their husbands, families and children more than themselves. In order to make their husbands feel comfortable when they come home, they give up their own entertainment time and decorate their homes carefully. In the end, they cannot even get a word of comfort from their husbands. In order to give their children a bright future, they sacrifice their own shopping world and beauty time, and take their children to learn talents and knowledge, but it is difficult to get their children's understanding. When their marriage fails, they realize that they have treated themselves too badly in this life. They had so many opportunities to enjoy life, but they foolishly gave them up one by one, and in the end even they were abandoned. A tragic life only brings belated enlightenment. If they had realized this earlier, they wouldn't have lost so badly.

Revelation 5: Don’t give men the capital to be proud

Many men have an extremely narcissistic idea that their wives cannot survive without them. This concept is not actually generated by men themselves, but is given by women. Women's tolerance and patience are their own enemies. When conflicts arise, although women will express some rebuttals and protests, they will eventually choose to give in, because women are more willing to consider their families and children. They think that a long-term stalemate between parents is not conducive to the physical and mental development of their children. In order to let their children grow up in a complete and harmonious family, they choose to endure and give in. Repeated tolerance is only a temporary solution and does not address the root cause. What’s more frightening is that it gives men capital to be proud of and gives them a huge psychological advantage. Women's tolerance not only fails to let men experience the taste of love, but also encourages their arrogance. Are women too stupid, or are men too inhumane?

Revelation 6: Leave yourself a way out

The reason why many divorced women are devastated and even give up on themselves is that they are left with nothing after the divorce. Not only do they lose their material support, but they also become spiritually empty. Therefore, we can easily get a revelation from such an experience: no matter what we do, we must leave ourselves a way out, not fight an unprepared battle, and not enter into an unprepared marriage. In the United States, divorce is as casual as drinking tea, and divorced women usually live a very comfortable life. The reason is that they have prepared a way out for divorce when they got married. Of course, legal help cannot be ignored, and their views on love are not something we can imitate. Women should make more friends. No matter when and where, friends are the best support. Instead of spending a lot of time doing thankless tasks, it is better to take some time to go around and participate in some group activities. This will not only enrich your life, but also make more friends. This way, you will not be without anyone to talk to after the divorce. Many women only start looking for friends, contacting old ones, and making new ones when their marriage is on the verge of bankruptcy. This is obviously a case of trying to remedy the situation after the horse has bolted, but it is much better than being a resentful woman who gives up on herself.

Revelation 7: Love is not everything in life

Many women regard love as almost everything in their lives. Since they stay at home every day, apart from doing housework, they watch TV, read books and do other boring things. The person who flashes most frequently in their minds is their husband. They think about their husband almost all the time, and this urgent mentality often causes them to lose themselves and even lose their reason. Unlike women, men never put love in the most important position, and may even put it at the back of the list. This can easily lead to conflicts. For example, when a husband is on a business trip, he focuses all his attention on work and entertainment and does not contact his wife all day. However, the wife is always thinking about her husband. One day without contact will make the wife worried. They feel that their husbands don't care about them anymore, and they are worried that their husbands will take this opportunity to fool around outside. Such women's obsession with love has completely reached a state of obsession, and when their marriages fail, the lesson they leave for future generations is that love is never everything in life.

Revelation 8: There are no more good men

Women have experienced the happiness of marriage, and at that time, the good men in their minds stood by them; when women experienced the misfortune of divorce again, the good men in their minds disappeared, and at the same time a question arose in their minds: "Are there good men in the world?" Of course, for those women who are in the sweetness of their marriages, good men are by their sides, but such an answer cannot rekindle the fire in the hearts of divorced women, but makes them feel sad and lonely, because they also had such sweetness, they also lived in the fairy tale world of good men, but in the end, the fairy tale turned into a tragedy. Are there still good men? Sadly, as a man, I can’t answer this question.

These eight revelations may not be of much help to women who have already experienced unhappy marriages, but they can undoubtedly serve as a warning to those who are still in the sweetness of their marriages or have not yet entered the road of marriage. The saddest thing I can think of is that one after another, people who have experienced this use their own painful experiences to guide those who come after them, but they can never prevent more people from making the same mistakes.