Why does a man ejaculate too slowly?

A woman wrote in and said: I am 32 years old, the same age as my husband. We have been married for 3 years and have a good relationship, but our sex life is not satisfactory, mainly because he needs a long time (at least 45 minutes) before he can ejaculate every time. I can see that he also wants to reach the climax, but he seems unable to do so. Every time I am very tired and he is sweating profusely. Sometimes he has to use his hands to help him ejaculate. What's going on?

While most women complain that their husbands are quick movers, there are also women who complain that men are slow movers, which makes them unbearable and miserable. It is true that about 8% of men always have problems with difficult or slow ejaculation. Each time they ejaculate for 20 to 30 minutes or even longer, their wives are exhausted and their tempers become more and more irritable. In fact, their wives only need a few minutes, or at most eleven or twelve minutes. Although they also try to speed up the ejaculation process by intensifying fantasies, the effect is very limited. Not to mention the wives of men who don't ejaculate. Not only do they have a hard time, but they can't even fulfill their dream of having children.

First of all, we need to see whether the conflict between the two parties is really because it has lasted too long, or because the man, although persistent, has not performed well, that is, he has not really scratched the woman's "itch", which of course will not make the other party happy. Because these men often do not know how to savor the rose-like fragrance of the other person and keep up with the other person's rhythm, they only focus on themselves and spend all their time on how to get their own climax without considering the other person's feelings. To sing the duet of sex life well, cooperation between both parties is far more important than personal skills. Only when a man does very well, that is, when he gains great motivation from paying attention to, savoring, inducing and feeling the other person's reaction, can he open the gate of his orgasm early. Through the efforts made by men, they are actually showing their attraction and charm to the other party.

Secondly, men may have difficulty reaching orgasm, a problem that is particularly common among middle-aged men and less common among younger men. After middle age, men's erectile ability declines and the hardness of the penis after erection is poor, so the friction stimulation caused by twitching is not strong enough, and they often need stronger stimulation. In addition to physical problems, whether the relationship between the two parties is coordinated and tacit is also very important. To solve this problem, it requires the joint efforts of both parties. Skills need to be honed and practice increases talent. Difficulty in achieving orgasm for men is like facing a deep trench. It requires a brave leap. The more timid you are, the harder it is to jump over it. The more you think about it, the heavier the psychological burden becomes, and the worse the situation becomes. At this time, you can lower the difficulty first and don't expect to succeed all at once.

It is necessary to create an environment without much psychological pressure. You can start by jumping from narrower and shallower trenches, then you will naturally not be nervous. It usually starts with masturbation by oneself, gradually exploring and mastering the techniques to speed up sexual response; then do this in front of the partner, who can go from watching from a distance to watching up close, and then to directly participating in and helping the man masturbate; finally, the partner can help the man masturbate with the penis close to the vaginal opening, and when the man is about to ejaculate, immediately insert the penis into the vagina and continue pumping until ejaculation. This step-by-step training procedure is often an effective solution.

Finally, there are the issues of adverse drug reactions to consider, such as antidepressants which often have the effect of inhibiting ejaculation. If the patient's long-term medication problem can be ruled out, then we should consider what factors can catalyze and accelerate the male orgasm response. Such as what kind of body position? What kind of fantasy? What kind of environment and atmosphere (is it safe and hidden enough so that you won’t be disturbed)? And these measures must also be accepted and assisted by your partner, so there is no unified prescription or procedure.

If the man is indeed someone who lacks the ability to control himself, then he will be disorganized and messy in everything, and orgasm is indeed the most difficult problem to control. Don't hold yourself back. When you feel pleasure, just shout and let it out boldly. Men should tell the other person about their fears or discomfort in order to gain the other person's understanding and support, but if the other person has been and is always arrogant and condescending, you should consider whether such communication is safe.