Japan's strange culture! Uncovering the secrets of why Japanese women are willing to be abused

Shibari (しばり), a Japanese rope bondage art, literally means "binding" or "restraint". It comes from the ancient Pengcheng judo art. In ancient times, it was originally used to tie up prisoners. Later, it changed its form and became an art of masochistic beauty.

Japanese women tied up

Combining the rope bondage techniques handed down from ancient Japan, the model is tied and restrained without hurting her. Japan even has a special membership website called TYINGART. Why do Japanese men also have a masochistic mentality, not just women?

Because they live in a hierarchical society and have been instilled with a religious sense of sacredness and mission, the vast majority of Japanese people will sincerely feel a sense of tragedy when faced with a situation where they have to "go forward despite what fate has arranged for them."

The contrast between the deep-seated despair and the outward strength has created a sharp contrast in the Japanese character and contributed to the Japanese psychological tendency to be both masochists and sadists.

Tied women

This also gave rise to a violent aesthetic that combines "the cruelty of the knife as a totem and the softness of the chrysanthemum as a totem."

According to Erich Fromm, "sadism" refers to the psychological characteristics of dominating others, exploiting others, and building happiness on the suffering of others; "masochism" refers to the psychological characteristics of relying on others, being at the mercy of others, being self-deprecating, submitting to external forces, and even self-harming and self-torturing.

Ruth Benedict summarized the social psychology (national character) of the Japanese in The Chrysanthemum and the Sword, which is recognized as the most authoritative work on the study of Japanese national character: "The sword and the chrysanthemum are both components of a painting.

point. The Japanese are aggressive yet gentle, militaristic yet fond of beauty, arrogant yet polite, stubborn yet fickle, docile yet rebellious, loyal yet treacherous, brave yet cowardly, conservative yet innovative. They are very concerned about what others think of their behavior, but they are overcome by guilt when others are unaware of their misdeeds. "These almost mutually contradictory character traits are perfectly integrated in the Japanese, but they are manifested in different aspects at different times - their attitudes towards outsiders and the weak are completely opposite to their attitudes towards people within their own group and the strong.

Ruth Benedict described the duality of the Japanese character in "The Chrysanthemum and the Sword" as follows: he can absolutely obey the marriage arranged by his family, or he can fall in love freely; he can selflessly bear extreme obligations, or he can indulge in pleasure and comfort. They can be cautious to the point of being cowardly, and brave to the point of being reckless; they can be courteous and polite, and arrogant; they can be obedient and docile to their superiors, and can also stubbornly resist and disobey. It is both extremely conservative and very open; it has the softness and sadness of a chrysanthemum, as well as the sharpness and aggressiveness of a knife.

However, from these superficial contradictions, we can see the unity of their essential spirit. That is: no matter what the Japanese do, they are absolutely committed and tend to go to extremes. In the final analysis, this is the inevitable product of the sanctification, absolutization and uniqueness of the present world - "the sword is a rigid, reckless and barbaric sword, the chrysanthemum is a decadent and paralyzed chrysanthemum, what they lack is precisely rational restraint and gentleness."

The sense of reality that "one must face external pressure and submit to it" has given rise to Japan's "shame culture."

Shame culture is different from guilt culture. The main feature of guilt culture is the appeal to conscience and the surreal "transcendent" - the awe of the transcendent rather than the real is the spontaneous (active) moral impulse of the confessor to confess his own sins.

The culture of shame must rely on external coercion. Only when the penitent feels the strong pressure from the external "realist" and is in awe of its power and fear of the impending punishment will he be motivated to admit his mistakes.

The most important point in the shame culture is the confirmation of external "realists" - if the evil deeds are not noticed by outsiders, then there is no need to feel remorseful; if the pressure from outsiders can be ignored, then repentance is unnecessary. Therefore, it can be said that the Japanese are "complete" realists. They are only sensitive to the comparison of real power, and all their "morality" and "responsibility" are based on the comparison of power.

People who believe in Christianity have a sense of original sin. If they do something wrong and know they are guilty, they will admit it and repent. Japan's shame culture is that there is no good or bad in doing anything, only shame. He has done evil and committed a crime, but he will not admit his mistake as long as the crime has not been discovered, exposed, or made him feel humiliated.

Whenever he felt ashamed, he would choose to commit suicide through drastic measures, including suicide and seppuku. In the eyes of the Japanese, one should try to cover up one's mistakes, because it is not the mistakes themselves but the fact that the mistakes are known to outsiders that is considered the source of shame.

Japanese masochistic women

The key to understanding the psychological motivations behind Japanese behavior is that they are willing to make up layers of lies to avoid losing face by admitting their mistakes.

In the Japanese concept, maintaining the face of the parties involved is the highest goal of all actions. As long as the face of the parties involved can be maintained intact, then nothing else matters.

The culture of shame has created extreme self-esteem among the Japanese, making them extremely sensitive to external ridicule and criticism. Even minor or well-intentioned criticism will be regarded as an insult to their personality.

The Japanese who are ridiculed have two choices: either turn the ridicule into motivation and constantly improve their own strength so that others will be "afraid" of their strength and "no longer dare" to ridicule them. Or give up trying to improve your own strength, and torture yourself and the weaker ones in resentment.

The shame culture is essentially the result of heteronomy, which objectively leads to the prevalence of the value of "worshiping violence". The invasion, torture and destruction of foreign nations is a compensation for their easily injured self-esteem. The sense of shame caused by the pressure of reality in daily life is transferred and vented in the process of persecuting and torturing others.

The Japanese, who use the balance of power in reality as a guide for their behavior, are extremely sensitive not only to external criticism and ridicule, but also to external favors, because accepting favors means showing weakness and obedience to the other party, thus increasing the chances of being ridiculed and mocked by the other party.

Therefore, Japanese people rarely accept favors from others, and rarely grant favors to others. The nicer you treat the Japanese, the more uncomfortable and disgusted they will feel, because this will increase their debt of favor and thus touch their sensitive self-esteem.

The more indifferent and rude you are to him, the more comfortable he will be. Even in family and love relationships, one should not be too intimate. A young man who is cold or even rude to a lovely girl is called a "good" young man, otherwise he is a "bad" young man.

In spiritual practice, the roughest teachers are considered the most helpful. In Japanese life, people must draw clear boundaries between each other and should not easily accept other people's kindness.

A society with the most "gratitude" will eventually make everyone avoid grace and gratitude. The root cause of this “strange” paradox in Japanese society is that in a hierarchical society, “on giri” (favor and affection) based on the principle of self-interest is an interpersonal bond that is effective through external coercive force.

It loses the sincerity that comes from transcending the narrow self, and therefore contains the sense of helplessness that one has to do something under the coercion of external forces.

If one can escape the constraints of external coercive forces, then "gratitude" will be discarded like a worn-out shoe. A nation that always talks about "gratitude" actually strongly rejects it deep in its heart, which shows the helplessness and split personality of the Japanese under the coercion of external forces.

The Japanese, who are bound by various rules, are often touted as "the most polite and courteous people in the world." However, their obedience is not sincere and makes them a group with the most split personalities.