Why do women always like to miss their old lovers?

Women love nostalgia. In the eyes of women, every man they have ever had is so different. With different men, they become different women. Having several romances is equivalent to living several lives. This is how a woman's heart ages.

Time and space intersect, men, you stop and I go. A woman lost in recollection is like opening a jewelry box of memories. Many scenes that I thought I had forgotten surfaced, and my mood seemed to return to a scene in my memory in an instant. At this moment, memory becomes a filter, all the unpleasant details are faded, and what emerges are scenes that are so beautiful that they can be taken as photos for couple greeting cards. At this moment, the woman couldn't help but look through the phone book...

Note that this may not be a good idea. Before meeting them again, it is best to ask yourself what you want to get from this reunion?

Why do women always like to think of their old lovers?

A man who can stand out from the crowd and become our lover has something special about him. He once loved us, no matter whether his way was skillful or clumsy, his smile was sincere or perfunctory, he put his heart into us. We are familiar with his voice and his smell. No matter how the relationship ends, no matter how he has saddened us, he is different from passers-by. This is enough to make a woman remember him for the rest of her life.

Women are usually emotional. The image of a man who has loved her will not change in her mind. He will not grow old or change his heart. So whenever a woman encounters difficulties in her real love life, she will miss her old lovers.

Why do women want to see their old lovers?

Japan's private detective agencies offer a service called "finding first love," and 90 percent of their clients are women. It can be seen that women care about their ex-lovers much more than men. Why do women miss their old lovers? Why do they want to call them?

One of the reasons: I remembered him by chance and his phone number was easy to find.

29-year-old An Lin returned to her hometown on business. When she passed by the gate of her alma mater, the familiar sights and smells reminded her of her high school days and her first boyfriend. The simple love of the past aroused her infinite emotion. Out of nostalgia for the good old days and curiosity to know if her former lover was doing well, she got the boy's phone number from her mother and called him. They had dinner together and reminisced about the good old days.

Benefits: It satisfies his curiosity and vanity because he still remembers things that happened many years ago.

Disadvantage: One such reunion is enough, don't abuse it. Otherwise, even the good memories will be hard to keep. In fact, everyone knows in their heart: everything in the past will never come back.

Reason two: Because he once said that if you want, you can call his cell phone number at any time.

Xiaowei, 36, recalled: I was the one who proposed the breakup with him, and he was very sad. The last time we met, he was in tears. It was heartbreaking to see a grown man crying like that. He said I was the eternal pain in his heart. But he understood my determination because he really couldn't give me the happiness I expected. He said that if I wanted, I could call his cell phone number anytime and anywhere. Every Christmas since then, I would call him, and I always felt guilty for having hurt a heart that loved me so much.

Benefit: A woman's vanity is satisfied in a man's tears. Comforting a broken heart is something every woman would like to do.

The bad: Men are much more forgetful than we give them credit for, and they hold grudges. When the pain in his heart subsides, your image and status in his mind will completely change. When you are still calling him with a tone full of guilt and concern, he may be muttering in his heart: This woman is so annoying, she always doesn't know her proper place.

Reason three: The woman called her ex-lover to invite him to her birthday party.

Excuse. The woman wants to see her old lover again, but she would feel awkward to meet him alone, and she doesn’t know whether the other party is willing to accept such a date, so she is willing to use some important anniversary gatherings as an excuse to let the old lover appear with everyone. Mary, 32, invited her old lover to her birthday party. But among her group of relatives and friends, his appearance seemed very sudden. He didn't know who to talk to, so he stood alone in the corner. A very awkward reunion.

Benefits: Satisfies women's vanity. He is still willing to accept our invitation.

The Bad: It was obvious that he was beginning to regret coming to the party. Next time he won't be so easy to accept your invitation.

Reason 4: Breaking up is helpless.

Why do they have to separate in the end even though they are clearly in love? This relationship is an eternal pain in the woman's heart. She believes that he is the most suitable person for her in the world. Now that the objective environment has changed, can we start over?

27-year-old Charlene recalled: The days with him were the happiest time of my life. After him, I have never met another man who can make me so happy. I called him but he never answered.

Advantages: Women may think that he refuses to answer our calls because he is still grieving for the lost love, and he does not have the courage to face us again and lose us again. Thinking this way can satisfy a woman's vanity.

The bad: Life is cruel. Our wishes often go unfulfilled. He ruthlessly rejected our request to meet.

Reason five: Women are willing to call their ex-lovers because they feel they are the only person to whom they can confide their troubles.

Effie, 22, said: Every time I feel depressed, I call my ex-boyfriend and tell him about my troubles. He is more than just a friend, in my mind, he is my forever lover.

Benefits: Satisfies one's vanity. This man still has the patience to listen to us, does he still love me?

Disadvantage: It is best not to make this kind of confession a habit. You should know that he should have a new love life. What would his current girlfriend think if he always receives your calls in the middle of the night? Be realistic and don't always immerse yourself in fantasy. We are already his past.

Reason six: A woman calls her ex-lover because she still loves him.

Shu Ya, 36, said: He left me and I was very sad. A year later, I still couldn't get him over with, so I called him. He came and spent an evening with me, but I found that everything had changed irrevocably. I could no longer face him with the same attitude, because his departure had hurt me so much that I could never forget it. This reunion will be our last meeting.

Pros: Good, this time the woman didn’t cry when he left. We can completely free ourselves from the shadow of this failed love.

Disadvantage: Women realize once again that a man can change his love for us without our permission, and his betrayal will not be punished. Life is cruel.

Reason seven: Sometimes time needs to go back a little. Women always need proof that love can last forever.

Yueming, 35, has been married for 10 years and regularly dates her ex-lover: "I can call him anytime and he will try his best to come and see me, and we will reminisce about the old times together."

Benefits: Satisfies women's vanity. At any time, it is not a woman's fault to create a warm environment for herself.

Disadvantages: Basically no disadvantages. But if your husband knew, how would he look at you?

Reason 8: Single life can sometimes be unbearable.

Lisa, 31, said: "After leaving him, I have been living alone. One night, I was very lonely, so I asked him to have dinner with me. But the moment he appeared at the door of the restaurant, I once again understood why we could not be together. I no longer loved him."

Advantages: Women understand that when there is no love, single life is the most appropriate.

The downside: Spending some lonely and difficult nights alone.

In fact, the biggest difficulty in getting along with an ex-lover is how to understand the failed relationship between the two and how to correctly view their current relationship. Is it love? Or friendship? Being overly obsessed with the past will ruin your present life psychologically and even practically. Most men do not believe in the existence of friendship between the two sexes. They come to see you either out of lingering love, curiosity, or unwillingness to reject your kindness. After knowing this, women may be more cautious when making this call.

The reason why memories are beautiful is that they are in the past and can no longer hurt us. Let them become what they are now, and they will become a sharp sword again.

Women often think that times have changed and people have become more mature. When we meet our old lover again, we will know how to strike a balance. But the actual situation is not entirely like this. What is the most appropriate way and attitude to face an old lover?

When a woman calls him, how will he react? Will he make an excuse to refuse? Or will he accept it with pleasure? Generally speaking, a man will not refuse a woman's invitation. Especially when two people have just broken up and the man still hopes to save their relationship, he is happy to do anything the woman asks him to do. The woman began to wait anxiously at the meeting place. The man who appeared soon was someone she used to be very familiar with. He had always been in her mind but had drifted away from her life. In another respect he was a complete stranger. Before and when facing him, it is best to do the following:

Wait until the relationship is no longer ambiguous before meeting.

Figure out what you want to get out of the meeting.

Don't dwell on the ways he has hurt us.

When you are with him, avoid overly gentle gestures and actions.

Don't ask too many details about his current girlfriend.

Don't dress too sexy.

Don't drink too much, otherwise you may say or do things that you don't mean to do.

Try to call his cell phone instead of his home phone. Otherwise, if another woman answers the call, both the listener and the speaker will feel uncomfortable.