The fantasies of women digging their own marriage graves

[Fact] You thought you would accept everything about each other and regard his interests as your own. You fantasized that you could live in harmony with each other. But after you were beaten all over by the stubborn horse, this fantasy disappeared. You no longer wanted to experience the power of riding a horse with him. In contrast, you would rather curl up on the sofa at home, cuddle with your well-behaved puppy and watch soap operas, while he sneers at your interests.

[Mood Rescue] Instead of forcing yourself to share his interests, it is better to have endless new topics to talk about because of your different interests. It is enough to be with him when he needs you to share happiness or pain with him. Having independent psychological space will bring both parties closer.

Fantasy 2: No matter what disagreement occurs, you will find a compromise.

[Fact] You will find that after marriage your husband will argue with you over trivial matters, and you yourself will become petty.

[Mood Rescue] It is impossible to tell who is right or wrong when a couple quarrels, so don't expect that you can calmly find a compromise solution that satisfies both of you. Don't ever expect him to be like you, eager to go home to visit his mother every weekend. You don't have to force yourself to agree with that bad stock he is going to buy. When disagreements arise, only if one side makes concessions and temporarily tolerates others can your days be free from war. At this time, a peaceful mindset is more important than anything else.

Fantasy 3: You will still be like before, chasing each other on the phone every day when you are temporarily separated due to business trips

[Fact] After marriage, you will only plan to call him during discount hours when you have nothing to do or have something to discuss, and you will only talk about the matter at hand, instead of holding the phone for an endless stream of fuss like before. As for your husband, if you are away from home, I suggest you give up the idea of ​​finding him at any time. He will run away without a trace like a rabbit once it is let out.

[Mood Rescue] Actually, what's wrong with this? Only breathing freely can ensure the health of the body, and the same is true for marriage!

Fantasy 4 After marriage, you will be keen on cooking each other’s favorite meals, and seeing him eat with gusto will make him happier than eating yourself.

【Fact】Unless one of you has a persistent love for cooking, sooner or later you will hate cooking and will be reluctant to do the dishes after meals. Some ladies are often angry because their husbands eat their favorite dishes without caring about what they like. It seems that the situation of treating love as food is just a short-lived flash before marriage.

[Mood Rescue] Marriage requires the joint efforts of both parties, which should also include managing your dinner table together. Try to cook a dish that both of you like for each meal, and then work together on a dish that both of you like. This can not only add a lot of fun to life, but is also the fairest way to solve the problem of cooking.

Fantasy 5: After marriage, you will still have long nights of conversation like before marriage.

[Fact] After marriage, you find that your husband seems to have told you everything he wanted to say before marriage. He always responds to your endless chatter with the shortest words, and sometimes even turns a deaf ear to you and pretends to be deaf and dumb. Of course there will be times when you talk all night, but that will most likely be arguing all night.

[Mood Rescue] Insufficient sleep is not good for physical and mental health, and talking all night is probably not as fun as falling asleep in each other's arms after having a wonderful sex. If you really lack conversation, you can increase the opportunities to eat out, or chat while doing housework or watching TV. Or you can prepare a notebook and write down the important things you want to say to each other. After a long time, when you look through it, you will find that your conversations are no less than those all-night talks.

Fantasy 6: After marriage, he will keep his promise when he proposed to you, and he will change all his shortcomings for you.

[Fact] After marriage, he acted as if he had completed an important mission. Not only did he completely forget his promise, but he also developed more bad habits that you cannot tolerate because of his complete laxity. You curse him in your heart as a liar, but you have no choice but to wash his stinky socks and clean up his always messy room.

[Mood Rescue] Don't expect to use marriage to change each other. Before marriage, you solemnly told him that you would be a good wife and mother, but now he and the children call you a "ferocious monster". So do not do to others what you do not want others to do to you. Try to slowly accept or downplay some of his shortcomings.

Look more at his cute side. Happiness and unhappiness are actually just different perspectives on the problem.

Fantasy 7: After marriage, you will tell each other everything about yourself without reservation.

[Fact] Pay close attention to your daily conversations. Are they all trivial and insignificant conversations like "What are we having for dinner?" "Whose house are we going to on the weekend?" "It's time to pay the water and electricity bills!"? As for what you really think in your heart, such as "I really want to have dinner with that handsome male movie star on TV" or "Can I keep this money as private money?", you definitely cannot tell him, and he definitely has not told you that his ex-girlfriend was sexier than you, or that a female colleague at the company was flirting with him.

After marriage, you all learned to keep the truly important things in your heart.

[Mood Rescue] "Distance creates beauty" is especially applicable to modern marriages. Hiding something means that you still care about each other very much. So as long as it does not harm the essence of the marriage, leave some taste in your heart to savor.

Fantasy 8: After marriage, his money is your money and should be given to you to keep.

[Fact] You will always find money of unknown origin in his wallet, and when he earns some extra income, the first thing he thinks of is to buy himself a digital camera or some game software.

The financial relationship between you is a bit like "cat and mouse". You always ask him questions suddenly when he is least prepared, trying to find out how much money he has hidden in his piggy bank.

[Mood Rescue] Don’t say that his money is your money, but emphasize to him that "we earn money for the family, and the money we earn belongs to this family." I believe that most men have a sense of family responsibility. Moreover, your husband’s money is like sand in your hand. The tighter you hold it, the more it leaks out. It is better to let go of it moderately, and he will no longer be on guard against you.

Fantasy 9: If one of you is sick, you will be the one who takes care of him/her.

[Fact] Even if you have a fever at home, he will go out for social events and come back late as usual. And every time he screams and cries because of a minor illness, you will feel uncontrollable annoyance and sometimes even have the idea of ​​escaping.

[Mood Rescue] Don't demand too much perfection from yourself and others. Since you would run around and cry because your puppy is sick, then give the same patience to your loved one. At this moment, he is fragile both physically and mentally.