5 ways to improve your ejaculation control

The most common sexual problem for men is premature ejaculation, which means that their ejaculation during intercourse happens too quickly and this does not meet their or their partner's expectations. Although the main complaint is about time, the essence of the problem is the ability to control ejaculation at will.

Men seem to be unable to decide when ejaculation should occur. At least 1/3 of men have this problem, especially young men. As people age, premature ejaculation tends to ease, but for many people it is a lifelong problem. So, even men over 50 can still feel this problem.

1. Ejaculation control

Ejaculation is a reflex. If a man does have control over his ejaculation process, he can enjoy high levels of sexual arousal in any situation and choose when to ejaculate. He can allow his sexual arousal to reach a very high level and then temporarily drop to a lower level, then let it rise again and drop again, repeating this process until he wants to ejaculate. In other words, he can keep the level of sexual arousal at a plateau for a long time, and he can also complete the ejaculation reflex in time when his wife is satisfied. On the contrary, the sexual excitement of men who cannot control the ejaculation process will soar from zero and reach orgasm quickly, often with no obvious plateau period. Not only his partner, but also he himself is dissatisfied with this, but he has no choice, so the couple often fall into a dilemma. Since ejaculation control is a technical or habit problem, its prognosis is not too bad. 80% of men can master this technique after 8 to 12 weeks of treatment and training. The manifestations of lack of ejaculation control are varied. Some men cannot control it no matter what sexual activity they are in; some only ejaculate prematurely during sexual intercourse, but not during other sexual activities such as masturbation. Most men with premature ejaculation also suffer from impotence. If both exist at the same time, the erection problem must be solved first, and then the premature ejaculation problem can be solved.

It is not clear why men vary so much in their ability to control ejaculation; nor is it clear why some men get better at it with age and experience while others never have it. But one thing is clear, premature ejaculation is not as much about organic problems or drug effects as impotence. Premature ejaculation is mainly related to lack of knowledge, concentration or skills. It is also clear that abstinence will aggravate the condition. Even a normal person will ejaculate too quickly when he resumes sexual activity for the first time if he does not have sexual intercourse for several weeks. In addition, anxiety can also cause loss of control, such as premature ejaculation during the first sexual intercourse of the night, while the condition improves with the second sexual intercourse. Generally speaking, men who lack the ability to control their sexual desire simply fail to take the necessary behavioral regulation measures when they are at a high level of sexual arousal but have not yet ejaculated. This may be because they are not focused on their feelings and therefore cannot take appropriate action; because they do not know when to take an adjustment step in their actions; because they do not know what kind of adjustment to make. British sexologist Zibgerd proposed the following training plan.

2. A plan to build ejaculation control

The establishment of ejaculation control ability is inseparable from the following two abilities: one is the ability to focus more fully on your own sexual arousal and tension; the other is the ability to change your behavior in order to prevent or delay ejaculation. Men can influence the occurrence of ejaculation by changing their behavior during the plateau phase (actually the ejaculation control period). Such as slowing down the pace, adjusting the angle, taking a break, and adjusting your breathing; ejaculation control needs to be learned in order to be mastered, just like riding a bicycle, the bike will not stop automatically, you must learn to balance. The plateau phase (control phase) represents both sexual arousal and sexual tension (anxiety). Most people who lack control ability may have both of these conditions at the same time. They often do not know the difference between arousal and tension, but both can cause ejaculation to occur quickly. When a person enters into sexual activity, the lust or sexual tension in his body will increase or intensify. If he wants to enhance this awareness, he must focus on the sensations and feelings of his body. For most men, sexual sensation comes primarily from the penis and scrotum. He must know at what level of sexual arousal ejaculation will inevitably occur, and then take some steps to control the occurrence of ejaculation before that point is reached. The principle of training to control ejaculation is that when a man or his partner stimulates the penis, he should do two things: one is to pay attention to his own level of sexual arousal/tension, and the other is to stop stimulation or do something else to maintain the ability to control ejaculation. By doing this repeatedly, you can achieve your training goal.

(1) Practice time: As long as both parties are happy and the man has an erection, it is fine. It is best to practice at least 3 times a week. The key is not to force yourself to have an erection. If you have difficulty getting an erection, reduce the number of training sessions to, for example, twice a week. The specific training plan will be introduced later. (2) Concentration: Focus on the penis and scrotum, feeling its swelling, fullness, excitement or other sensations, so that he no longer worries or fears about ejaculating too quickly, disappointing his partner, or whether his partner is willing to help you practice. Once his attention is distracted or diverted, he must immediately refocus it. You can imagine attention as a spotlight on the stage. Once the protagonist moves, the light will follow immediately. Then he can return to focusing on the arousal/tension level after being distracted. This is the only way to ensure the effectiveness of the practice. (3) Stop stimulation time: Once stimulation reaches the point where ejaculation feels imminent, stimulation should be stopped to allow the arousal/tension level to subside sufficiently, but not to the point where the erection disappears. The time to stop stimulation can be 10 seconds, 30 seconds, or 90 seconds, depending on the individual's specific situation. If the restimulation must be stopped again within 1 to 2 minutes, the stopping time should be appropriately extended. (4) Activities during the pause phase: Briefly communicate with your partner to maintain emotional connection; relax and enjoy the feelings of diminishing or arousing; breathe deeply to help you relax; actually experience the feeling of ejaculation control; or just lie there and do nothing. (5) What to do if you ejaculate during practice: When a man is not practicing, he can ejaculate as he wishes, without worrying about the number of times, as long as it does not affect his ability to get an erection during practice. It is best not to affect the implementation of the original training plan due to sexual intercourse arrangements.

If a man wants to ejaculate at the end of the training, he is free to do so, but he should be careful to concentrate on his own feelings and keep the stimulation at a low level, not letting it happen too quickly. It should be understood that there may be 1 to 2 unintentional ejaculations when you first start training. This is common and there is no need to worry. It even has the benefit of helping you determine what is a control period. If this unintentional ejaculation continues, then there will be a problem, and you may have to go back to your previous training content in order to get better control.

3. Give full play to the spiritual role

In order to achieve the maximum benefit from the physical exercises described below, a man must focus his mind on his own sensations. Men who lack the ability to control ejaculation often blame themselves too much for ejaculating too quickly. This certainly reflects reality, but it also brings pressure and interference to behavioral change. Correcting this awareness will help change behavior. So deny your negative thoughts and constantly reinforce your positive thoughts. For example, constantly imagine that you have gained the ideal control ability, several times a day, each time for 30 to 90 seconds, imagining how well you are doing, including the entire process of sexual activity. Rehearsing this successful process several times each morning when you wake up or before going to bed will reinforce a man's positive outlook.

4. Deep breathing exercises

Deep breathing can help a man dissipate arousal/tension, which will then help control ejaculation. Deep breathing should be deep, relaxed and brisk, but some men are more nervous than usual when taking deep breaths. They tighten the muscles of their chest, neck, shoulders and even the muscles in their arms. How can this be called deep breathing? Sometimes even normal breathing is restricted.

Correct relaxed breathing should be accompanied by expansion and contraction of the abdomen. When inhaling, the belly should bulge out, and when exhaling, the abdomen should shrink back. If you can't do this, you need to learn and master this method. You can think of your stomach as a balloon. It expands when you inhale and deflates when you exhale. Once you get the hang of it, do it as often as you can, especially taking a few deep breaths when you pause from masturbation or stimulation by your partner. This kind of deep breathing training can also be arranged during sexual intercourse. This requires a process of getting used to and adapting to it because it goes against a person's subjective wishes. The more excited a man is, the more likely he is to ejaculate prematurely, have shallow breathing, and have shortness of breath and a racing heart. You can also imagine that the inhaled air will travel down into your pelvic cavity and relax the muscles in that area; the more relaxed they are, the more difficult it will be to ejaculate.

5. Masturbation training

There are many different ways for men to masturbate, but the most classic is to use one hand to stroke or rub the penis back and forth, which is ideal for training ejaculation control. Some men masturbate by rubbing their penis on bedding or other objects (not actually using their hands directly), but these methods are not suitable for this training. Specific training methods can be carried out under the guidance of a doctor.