The ancients said that sex should be moderate

The ancient man, Li Yu (1611-1680), also known as Li Weng, was a native of Lanxi, Zhejiang Province. He was a famous writer and dramatist in the early Qing Dynasty. Li Yu wrote many works throughout his life, and he is particularly famous for his dramas and novels. After the Manchus entered the country, he gave up on fame and fortune and traveled across most of China with a group of girls from his troupe, especially to commercial and pleasure cities such as Yangzhou, Nanjing and Suzhou. In the past, few people dared to openly admit that they had lustful physiological instincts, especially in the autocratic era with harsh moral shackles, but Li Yu openly admitted that he was a lustful person. In fact, according to historical records, Li Yu had sexual relations with many actresses, geishas, ​​and brothel girls throughout his life. However, through close contact with a large number of women, Li Yu gained insight into the connotation of equality in gender relations and deeply realized that sex plays a very important role in health care.

Li Yu believed that the pleasure of sex was enjoyable, but the key to enjoying it well in the boudoir was to "be moderate." In his opinion, being moderate in sex life is good for health. Li Yu was particularly opposed to the idea of ​​taking tonic medicine to "enhance sexual desire" and relying on "female beauty for health preservation." He said: "Ginseng, Poria, Astragalus and Atractylodes are all dead medicines. Using dead medicines to treat living people is like grafting a dead tree with a living tree." "Health preservation through female sex" refers to the ancient fallacy of sex in which "one man has sex with several women to replenish his yin and yang". Li Yu believed that people who pursued this method were undoubtedly "holding up a weapon against themselves and giving others an advantage".

Li Yu emphasized the pleasure of "sexual intercourse", but stressed that one must be "moderate" in this matter. To this end, he also specifically discussed several requirements on how to control sexual desire, and his speech was very interesting.

One is "Happy festival, the desire for love is over." Li Yu believed that when men and women have sex when they are in a happy relationship, they can easily reach a state of bliss. But at this time, we must "constantly consider it" to prevent "going overboard", that is, overindulgence, and we should "leave room for good". That is to say, even in sex life, we should be prepared for danger.

The second is "to limit the desire to worry and be sad." Li Yu said: "To have fun while worried will cost you twice as much energy and spirit as normal times" because when people have sex while worried, "their bodies are connected but their hearts are not, their energy is lost even though their essence is not released", which is like "forcing a worried person to laugh, but the pain of his laughter is even greater than his worry". He suggested that when one is sad, sexual intercourse should be "slightly more moderate than usual."

The third is "to control the desire of newlyweds." He reminded people that newly married men and women tend to indulge in excessive pleasure, often spending "as much in one night as in several ordinary nights." At this time, do not be too greedy, and "keep calm. Even though you are newly married, just go about your business." Even if she is a "new person," you should treat her as an "old person," and do not get too excited. "After one or two nights, treat her as a new person again." The meaning is: Don't think of a one-night stand as a "once and for all" thing, but consider that happiness should be a gradual flow that will last a long time.

The fourth is "the desire to enjoy spring". In spring, everything grows and people are happy. Because of the good mood, "it is easy to go too far when enjoying pleasure in spring." Li Yu said that at this time we should "think about prevention and not indulge in excessive pleasure, which will lay the roots of illness." He explained: "The most difficult period of the year is the three hottest months. The energy is exhausted, diseases occur, and death comes because of this." If one can "pay attention to flowers and birds, and travel around mountains and rivers" in spring without indulging in desires and instead keep one's spirits nourished, one will be able to safely get through the "future hot summer". On the contrary, if one is not restrained in spring and spends too much time in bed, he or she may become restless and get sick. This actually emphasizes the importance of health preservation during the sexual season.

In addition, he also proposed that sexual intercourse should be appropriately restrained in situations such as "hunger and fullness", "labor", "midwinter and hot summer", etc. Most of these understandings are consistent with the views of modern sexual health.