How did the village party secretary force himself on the widow?

A girl who holds traditional values ​​of chastity should not check into a hotel with a man whose identity is unknown, who has a complicated love history, who frequently makes sexual demands, and whom you do not intend to turn into your future husband.

He and I met online during the summer vacation, and it has been a year and a half now. I am 20 years old, a good student, and now a junior in college, preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. He is a project manager of a company. He came to the city where I studied for work. Now he has returned to his hometown to start a business and comes back occasionally.

He took me to a hotel when we met for the first time. I was not naive, so I ran out in anger and disappointment and took a taxi back to school. Later he kept calling me. At that time, I didn’t realize the seriousness of the matter. I said I was very disappointed and just took it as a lesson. Later he said that I met a good person, but now I think about it and I’m scared.

He often called me and asked me out for dinner. He was very humorous and gradually I developed a good impression of him. I told him that I was free on Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday, so he arranged his work in advance and took me out to play on these days. But I must have disappointed him because we just held hands and I didn't show any reaction when he wanted to kiss me. Later, when the exam was approaching, I refused him when he asked me out again. One time, he even arrived at the school gate, but I didn't see him. He still blames me for this until now.

After that, our relationship developed further and he asked me to be his girlfriend, but I did not agree because I did not want to have a relationship before taking the postgraduate entrance examination. Besides, my family is well-off, and I just like him purely without asking for anything from him. He wanted to have sex with me many times, but I refused without even thinking about it. Because I am very traditional, I take that very seriously, and I still do.

I have seen his ID card, and he also took the initiative to tell me a lot of things about his life, both emotionally and professionally. He is 33 years old, but doesn't look that old. He said he has never had a marriage certificate, but he has a boy with his third girlfriend, and the child is now four years old. He said he gave her 1 million (that's just what he said, I don't know if he was that responsible), and then there was no contact.

He said that if a relationship develops to a certain stage without further sublimation, it will not last long. I didn't know he was going back to his hometown at that time, so I didn't react much. I just thought I would let things take their course. There was nothing I could do if you couldn't wait. My thoughts were deeply rooted. Later he went back.

A few months ago, he suddenly called me and asked if I wanted to meet him. I said no, it's fine to just call and chat when you have nothing to do. He said he wanted to see me and was already at the gate of our school. Now that I think about it, I really have strong self-control. We just kissed and didn't do anything else. He was very disappointed, and after my repeated insistence, he left.

I never call him on my own initiative, but he would call me from time to time. That time, he asked me out to see a movie and then checked into a room, but he still didn't cross my bottom line despite my repeated resistance. Later, he asked me many times to go to Jiangxi to find him, but I refused every time, thinking that if I went there, I would have no say over it. He kept saying that I didn't give him the motivation to come back. But last weekend, when he said he came back to see me specially, I went out. Nothing happened that night. He watched TV. But in the morning when I was very sleepy, I failed to resist... That was my virginity.

After he made several phone calls in the morning, I learned that he came back because of something here. Seeing that I didn't say anything, he said that he would spare a lot of time to accompany me and kept explaining. He had to go to the company in the morning, and then gave me 1,000 yuan to let me go out to buy some things, saying that he would come back in the afternoon and accompany me in the evening. I didn’t know what to feel at that time, it was torture. He didn't make any promises to me, but just casually said that he would treat my classmates to a meal in the future and that this is what love is like.

I felt extremely uncomfortable, so I checked out of the room and went back to school. I covered my head but couldn't fall asleep. He called me several times later, but I didn't answer. I didn't know what to do. If nothing came of it, I didn't want to get myself deeper into trouble, and I didn't want him to think that as long as I gave it to him the first time, I would indulge him every time after that. Later he said that we have known each other for two years, and it depends on how he treats me. He comes to see me every time to see how I treat him. He puts sex above all else, but has no idea what a first time means to me.

Today I forced myself to read for a whole day and finish all my homework, but I still couldn't forget it. I originally planned to no longer have any contact with him, but I felt that I was being too disadvantaged. He has not suffered any loss, but how am I going to explain this to my husband in the future? To be honest, I don't like his lifestyle or his proud way of speaking, and I also think long-distance relationships are too hard. He doesn't seem to care about me or be nice to me that much.

It would be really torture if I couldn't forget this. I hope you can help me. This is really important to me!

reply:

You feel that you are at a great disadvantage, he has nothing to lose, and you will not be able to explain to your husband in the future - the best way, of course, is to turn him into your husband, but you don't love him that much. So, what price do you want him to pay? Money? That would be an insult to yourself. Time and energy? If you want to occupy his time and energy, you must first spend time and energy on it yourself. Call the police? If you were an underage girl, I would suggest you call the police, but you are already 20 years old and seem mentally mature, and it was voluntary for you to check into the hotel with others. Find someone to beat him up? That might cause even bigger trouble.

That’s right, some losses can only be suffered, and trying to make up for it may result in a greater loss. It's like being injured. The best thing to do is to bandage it and wait quietly for the wound to heal. If you keep looking at the wound, it will most likely get infected.

Irish female singer Enya has a very nice song called "Only Time". You might as well listen to it. The song goes: "Who can tell where the road leads, where the years pass - only time. And who can tell whether love will grow as the heart wishes - only time." All I can tell you is to let time dilute this matter.

However, you should always learn some wisdom from suffering losses. I think you have learned a lesson from this incident. The ancients said that a gentleman does not stand under a dangerous wall. A girl who holds traditional values ​​of chastity should not check into a hotel with a man whose identity is unknown, who has a complicated love history, who frequently makes sexual demands, and whom you do not intend to turn into your future husband. In the short term, ambiguity can be a kind of beautiful feeling of being neither too close nor too far, but over time, most people can't afford it.

He and I met online during the summer vacation, and it has been a year and a half now. I am 20 years old, a good student, and now a junior in college, preparing for the postgraduate entrance examination. He is a project manager of a company. He came to the city where I studied for work. Now he has returned to his hometown to start a business and comes back occasionally.

He took me to a hotel when we met for the first time. I was not naive, so I ran out in anger and disappointment and took a taxi back to school. Later he kept calling me. At that time, I didn’t realize the seriousness of the matter. I said I was very disappointed and just took it as a lesson. Later he said that I met a good person, but now I think about it and I’m scared.

He often called me and asked me out for dinner. He was very humorous and gradually I developed a good impression of him. I told him that I was free on Tuesday, Saturday and Sunday, so he arranged his work in advance and took me out to play on these days. But I must have disappointed him because we just held hands and I didn't show any reaction when he wanted to kiss me. Later, when the exam was approaching, I refused him when he asked me out again. One time, he even arrived at the school gate, but I didn't see him. He still blames me for this until now.

After that, our relationship developed further and he asked me to be his girlfriend, but I did not agree because I did not want to have a relationship before taking the postgraduate entrance examination. Besides, my family is well-off, and I just like him purely without asking for anything from him. He wanted to have sex with me many times, but I refused without even thinking about it. Because I am very traditional, I take that very seriously, and I still do.

I have seen his ID card, and he also took the initiative to tell me a lot of things about his life, both emotionally and professionally. He is 33 years old, but doesn't look that old. He said he has never had a marriage certificate, but he has a boy with his third girlfriend, and the child is now four years old. He said he gave her 1 million (that's just what he said, I don't know if he was that responsible), and then there was no contact.

He said that if a relationship develops to a certain stage without further sublimation, it will not last long. I didn't know he was going back to his hometown at that time, so I didn't react much. I just thought I would let things take their course. There was nothing I could do if you couldn't wait. My thoughts were deeply rooted. Later he went back.

A few months ago, he suddenly called me and asked if I wanted to meet him. I said no, it's fine to just call and chat when you have nothing to do. He said he wanted to see me and was already at the gate of our school. Now that I think about it, I really have strong self-control. We just kissed and didn't do anything else. He was very disappointed, and after my repeated insistence, he left.

I never call him on my own initiative, but he would call me from time to time. That time, he asked me out to see a movie and then checked into a room, but he still didn't cross my bottom line despite my repeated resistance. Later, he asked me many times to go to Jiangxi to find him, but I refused every time, thinking that if I went there, I would have no say over it. He kept saying that I didn't give him the motivation to come back. But last weekend, when he said he came back to see me specially, I went out. Nothing happened that night. He watched TV. But in the morning when I was very sleepy, I failed to resist... That was my virginity.

After he made several phone calls in the morning, I learned that he came back because of something here. Seeing that I didn't say anything, he said that he would spare a lot of time to accompany me and kept explaining. He had to go to the company in the morning, and then gave me 1,000 yuan to let me go out to buy some things, saying that he would come back in the afternoon and accompany me in the evening. I didn’t know what to feel at that time, it was torture. He didn't make any promises to me, but just casually said that he would treat my classmates to a meal in the future and that this is what love is like.

I felt extremely uncomfortable, so I checked out of the room and went back to school. I covered my head but couldn't fall asleep. He called me several times later, but I didn't answer. I didn't know what to do. If nothing came of it, I didn't want to get myself deeper into trouble, and I didn't want him to think that as long as I gave it to him the first time, I would indulge him every time after that. Later he said that we have known each other for two years, and it depends on how he treats me. He comes to see me every time to see how I treat him. He puts sex above all else, but has no idea what a first time means to me.

Today I forced myself to read for a whole day and finish all my homework, but I still couldn't forget it. I originally planned to no longer have any contact with him, but I felt that I was being too disadvantaged. He has not suffered any loss, but how am I going to explain this to my husband in the future? To be honest, I don't like his lifestyle or his proud way of speaking, and I also think long-distance relationships are too hard. He doesn't seem to care about me or be nice to me that much.

It would be really torture if I couldn't forget this. I hope you can help me. This is really important to me!

reply:

You feel that you are at a great disadvantage, he has nothing to lose, and you will not be able to explain to your husband in the future - the best way, of course, is to turn him into your husband, but you don't love him that much. So, what price do you want him to pay? Money? That would be an insult to yourself. Time and energy? If you want to occupy his time and energy, you must first spend time and energy on it yourself. Call the police? If you were an underage girl, I would suggest you call the police, but you are already 20 years old and seem mentally mature, and it was voluntary for you to check into the hotel with others. Find someone to beat him up? That might cause even bigger trouble.

That’s right, some losses can only be suffered, and trying to make up for it may result in a greater loss. It's like being injured. The best thing to do is to bandage it and wait quietly for the wound to heal. If you keep looking at the wound, it will most likely get infected.

Irish female singer Enya has a very nice song called "Only Time". You might as well listen to it. The song goes: "Who can tell where the road leads, where the years pass - only time. And who can tell whether love will grow as the heart wishes - only time." All I can tell you is to let time dilute this matter.

However, you should always learn some wisdom from suffering losses. I think you have learned a lesson from this incident. The ancients said that a gentleman does not stand under a dangerous wall. A girl who holds traditional values ​​of chastity should not check into a hotel with a man whose identity is unknown, who has a complicated love history, who frequently makes sexual demands, and whom you do not intend to turn into your future husband. In the short term, ambiguity can be a kind of beautiful feeling of being neither too close nor too far, but over time, most people can't afford it.