Women should remember to cherish this thing after divorce

Few people seem to care about how divorced women deal with sexual demands from their ex-husbands. However, such things actually happen in our lives. Today, a divorced female reader wrote to me to share her painful experience.

"I have divorced him. For a while, I really hated him, and he hated me too. But recently he came to me again and said he wanted to resume our marriage. I was so confused that I didn't know whether I should agree to him. I suddenly realized that I still loved him. He saw my hesitation, so he kept coming to me and then made a move on me. I wanted to refuse him, but when I thought about the possibility that we could become husband and wife again, it was hard to say no. What's worse is that after divorcing him, I have been living alone and seemed to have forgotten about that kind of thing. Now that he has teased me, the desire has risen. I couldn't control myself, so I agreed to his request half-heartedly. Although it happened, I still feel conflicted. We were husband and wife before, but now we are not. Is it really against the rules to do such a thing? If he makes that kind of request to me again in the future, can I still agree to him?"

Once some couples have a falling out, they become like enemies and swear never to have any contact with each other again. But there is another type of divorcing couples who, although their marriage has been dissolved legally, are still unable to let go in their hearts. So the awkward scene at the beginning happened.

In fact, you don’t have to worry at all. First, you should put yourself in the position of a single person, and then deal with the problem in front of you. The reason for divorce is that you are not happy living together. Now that you have already gotten rid of a heartbroken marriage, why pick it up again? From a legal perspective, since you are already divorced, you have lost legal protection. Even if you intend to rekindle your relationship, having sexual relations at this time is no different from having sex before marriage. However, choosing a sexual partner is increasingly becoming a private matter. As long as it does not violate the law, no one has the right to blame you. Besides, you are both willing and plan to remarry in the future, so there is no need to worry too much.

But here we would like to say a few more words to our divorced female friends: "Cherish the free time you have after divorce, and cherish your body even more." Living alone allows your sexual desire to accumulate slowly, and once there is a breakthrough, you will have the urge to vent. At this time, you can neither resist the temptation of a new life nor the impulse from within yourself, and you will often comply with the other party's request. But this is likely to cause new harm.

When facing your ex-husband's sexual demands, you should try your best to hold your "defense line" and not let other factors weaken your will - don't make excuses for yourself. For example, he might say sweetly that he still loves you, or that he hopes to remarry you. You might think: I can’t forget the past relationship, you don’t want to lose such an opportunity, and you don’t want to lose him again. In fact, he was most likely overwhelmed by the impulse, or even just wanted to vent. If you let him succeed, it will hurt your feelings all over again.

It is indeed difficult to simply ask a person to control his instinctive impulses, but when you feel dizzy, please think about your future life. When facing the person you are going to choose as your partner, you should first get to know him or her from all aspects, rather than rushing into giving yourself to him or her. Some men, when they take a fancy to a woman, in order to tie her heart, will try every means to have sexual relations with her, attempting to possess her by first possessing her body; some women, when they find a man they like, will take the initiative to commit themselves to him, creating a fait accompli in order to facilitate marriage. Both of these ideas are extremely dangerous. If you look for a partner with this kind of idea in mind, you will definitely not be happy. Even if you get married, there will be hidden dangers.

In addition, there is one situation that women should pay special attention to. Some men are mainly interested in women in terms of sex. Once they achieve their goal, their interest will decrease significantly, and even if they originally planned to get married, they will forget about it. If encountering this situation, women should be more cautious and not give in easily.

Of course, we also acknowledge that there will be some delicate feelings between divorced couples during the period of rebuilding their relationship. Since they have already had sexual intercourse, they will not be as shy as young boys and girls. If we can forgive young people for having sex before marriage, then we should be even more understanding towards them. In fact, the real problem lies with themselves. No matter whether it is the man or the woman, they should regard rebuilding the marriage as an extremely serious matter. What you are anxious to solve is to restore harmony in your relationship, not "sex". If you get back together just to satisfy your sexual needs, and the original conflicts still exist, your marriage will break down again. Therefore, female friends who are getting divorced, please treat this with caution.