Why do we like alternative sex?

I once played a game called "Never have I ever...been...", which is similar to Truth or Dare. This game once again refreshed my understanding of the unfathomable depth of human sexual experience. Participants take turns saying something they have never done before, and if others have done it, they will be fined. What’s interesting is that nine times out of ten, they are all related to sex, and they are blatant self-exposures!

As a result, my friends showed off their lower limits one after another. I was stunned by their rich and unique sexual experiences! It sounded like a scene from an AV. Some of them feel very incongruous, for example, a good man who is almost as gentle and refined as Qiao Feng in daily life, but likes to play SM and likes to play the role of the abused party. A white-collar worker who walks around high-end office buildings in a suit during the day likes to change into women's clothes when having sex. This kind of identity reversal makes us excited. AV and GV are always keen on presenting the reversal of the real world, such as a humble plumber sleeping with a middle-class young woman, or a black subordinate sleeping with a white boss. The logic here is actually not much different from that in Hollywood blockbusters. It is always the little people who save the world. The unbalanced power relations in the world, including economy, gender, race, etc., seem to be reversed only in AV and Hollywood movies.

At the same time, I am once again amazed by the human ability to explore the infinite space of sex. If the same thing can happen in various occasions and places, having sex in the bedroom is considered sex, but if it happens outdoors, it becomes a wild fight. Human civilization always tries to push sex into the house and into the bed, but our ancestors were used to having fun in the wild. We always yearn to return to nature. What could be closer to the original rhythm of nature than the interaction of yin and yang between heaven and earth? A little friend said that he had made love in the sea. Two people, a sea, such a scene coupled with the rhetoric of returning to nature is really a bourgeois sentiment. But sex outdoors once had a strong revolutionary flavor. Think about the 1960s when the world movement was surging. The hippies, who marched under the slogan “Make love, not war,” protested against the cold state machine with their naked and passionate bodies.

As opposed to sex that takes place in an open outdoor space, sweating it out in a small space actually adds multiple layers of interest. The most typical example is having sex in a car, where you are restricted in your hands and feet, but the original intention of sex is freedom. When you think about it this way, the space becomes wider. Moreover, even though the space inside the car is private, the car is exposed in an open public space after all. The ambiguity and excitement of walking between private and public often makes people unable to stop. Our preferences for transportation are also interesting. Sex on an airplane at an altitude of 10,000 meters can break the Guinness World Record. Of course, you can maliciously speculate how astronauts in outer space meet their physiological needs. On the ship, remember the passionate sex between Rose and Jack in "Titanic"? The brief sparks created by the friction between the two bodies illuminated the entire vast ocean. The two hands intertwined on the boat window reminded me of a line from a song by Leslie Cheung: Are our clenched hands still cold? Until the end of the world, we are the only ones left.

When one of the guys talked about his experience of oral sex in the Uniqlo fitting room, everyone gave him a thumbs-up and drank it all willingly. The fun here is that, because of the intrusion of a trivial sexual act, you have subverted the rules of this space, sexualized it, or eroticized it by you, and at the same time conquered it by your imagination, and you have gained a kind of tipsy freedom. In a space made bright and beautiful by money and commodities, I polluted it with a throw of semen. This is today's micro-heroism.

In Tsai Ming-liang's films, all kinds of deviant sex are the moments of warmth that the protagonists enjoy in this cold modern city. In reality, we try alternative sexual experiences and try deviant pleasures in exchange for a moment of freedom.