Why do men look to their mothers and women look to their fathers?

In Korean dramas, a

OPPA, does it make the male protagonist in front of the screen exude a sense of security from the inside out? SHE's song "I Don't Want to Grow Up" made many listeners feel sad. Let us, who are young and lacking in love, bravely walk into our own inner world together.

1. Emotional Inertia

When people interact with each other, "impression" is very important. A good impression can stimulate and promote social activities, while a bad impression can inhibit and hinder them. In fact, impressions are made up of two aspects. On the one hand, it is a person's positive evaluation of another person regarding trustworthiness, integrity, steadiness, elegance, etc., or a negative evaluation of another person regarding dishonesty, cunningness, frivolity, rudeness, etc.; on the other hand, it is the inertia of this evaluation.

Just like a car moving forward, when it brakes, the vehicle will continue to slide forward. This is called inertia in physics. People's psychological activities also have inertia. When a person says "no", he will keep saying "no"; the more a person says "yes", the more inclined he is to agree to something. When we think someone is a good person, we will like him in every way we look at him, and vice versa.

Then we grow up in our family like saplings, absorbing nutrients composed of different elements such as "warmth", "kindness", "stability", "perseverance" and so on from an early age. In our emotional impression, parents have always been the most selfless and kindest people in the world to us.

So when we are about to start a new life, we tend to hope that the best things in our lives will remain unchanged. Father is like a big tree that protects us from wind and rain; mother is an eternally gentle harbor. With these, the sense of security that we strive for has always supported our growth.

2. Reality

On the other hand, it seems that people generally agree that women of the same age are more mature than men.

A survey in 2004 showed that women in the 21st century are more confident, courageous and challenging than ever before. They dare to choose their own lives and have new values ​​and behaviors. They are financially independent and believe that only by loving themselves can they love others. According to the China Traditional Chinese Medicine News, men do mature later than women, and men do not become mature until the age of 27.

OnePoII, a British investigative agency

A survey conducted by the website showed that girls mature psychologically slightly earlier than boys, generally "growing up" around the age of 24. The study shows that men grow up much more slowly than women and they often behave childishly from time to time.

When women in the 21st century generally accept this concept and want a more stable life, will they choose men who are older than themselves, introverted, wise, and have more advantages in all aspects, or will they choose boys who are immature and simple in cognition? The answer is imaginable.

Attachment Theory

"Attachment" is the psychological tendency to seek closeness to another person and to feel safe in that person's presence. Attachment theory holds that early parent-child relationship experiences form a person's "internal working model", which is an individual's expectation of others and determines how we deal with things. Internal working models will play a role in other relationships in the future, especially intimate relationships and marital relationships in adulthood.

The little emperors who were born under the "one-son" (the first child is a boy and a second child is not allowed) birth policy have now become adults born in the 1980s and 1990s.

The young trees that are carefully nurtured and grown in the greenhouse, when they begin to show their potential, need the protection of the big trees to mitigate the impact of external storms on them so that they can successfully go through the transition period. People born in the 1980s and 1990s who are in the marriage and love stage of their lives will naturally choose more attractive women who understand life, can plan, and care about the people around them due to their attachment patterns. Led by them, we will enter a new life and experience a better life. Such a woman does not simply mean being older; nor does it simply mean having an advantage in money, but such a woman with all the combined characteristics is more like a second mother who can take care of him in all aspects. Thus, the phenomenon of men looking for a "mother" arose. Of course, it is also possible to use attachment theory to explain why girls look for their fathers.

postscript

We have no intention of making any comments on the phenomenon of looking for "daddy" or "mom", we just want to learn and analyze this phenomenon together. For those born in the 80s, 90s and even 00s

Finally, I want to say: We are the protagonists of life, we can change and work hard towards our goals. Everything is just for our wonderful life.

Note: 1. Halo effect: Once a certain quality of a person or a certain characteristic of an object gives people a very good impression, under the influence of this impression, people will also give a better evaluation of other qualities of this person or other characteristics of this object.