Why 50 Shades of Grey makes women unable to stop

The hot movie for Valentine's Day this year is the long-running "Fifty Shades of Grey". Some comments said that this is "only women can shoot the erotica that women want." A survey shows that most people who watch this film are women. What is it that touches the deepest secrets of female audiences? What do women want in a relationship?

What kind of man makes a woman unable to control herself

A 21-year-old innocent female college student, after learning that the man she deeply loved liked sexual abuse, continued to struggle on the edge of love and pain, but was reluctant to leave. What kind of man can make a woman fall in love with him?

According to statistics, the following men are most popular with women:

Height 175-183 cm, weight 150-180 catties, well-developed muscles, good lines - the lines must be good, the waist must be thin, the abdominal muscles must be very obvious, the buttocks must be round and perky, the legs should not be too thick or too thin but must be firm, the lines must be good, the shoulders should be broad, the deltoids and biceps should be very obvious, and the arms should not be too thick.

Broad shoulders, round hips, and a thin and straight waist are the most attractive to women.

Is sexual abuse the same as sexual violence?

Feminists have generally disdained the film, primarily because the female lead is willing to play the role of an abused, submissive woman. They are very worried that young girls will have their values ​​destroyed after watching the film and become playthings of men. This is somewhat unfounded, because getting pleasure from watching sexual abuse scenes does not mean that a person is willing to be treated violently.

Li Yinhe: Sadomasochism is definitely not a disease

In many sadomasochism forums, the most cited book is "Sadomasochism Subculture" written by Li Yinhe, a researcher at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences and a doctor of sexology. Many sadomasochists regard this book as a classic. The reporter interviewed Li Yinhe, who used the words "exquisite" and "elegant" to describe sadomasochism, and believed that sadomasochism is definitely not a disease, but a subculture phenomenon. "In the West, sadomasochism is something that only people above the middle class would play, and there are many exquisite props. It's the same in China."

When talking about the violence in sadomasochism, Li Yinhe said calmly: "Sadomasochism games can only be carried out under the premise of mutual respect. Participants ultimately hope to gain some kind of psychological feeling. Therefore, serious injuries or deaths caused by sadomasochism are extremely rare."

Regarding the topic of sadomasochism, Li Yinhe also mentioned in her blog: "Seeing that some people on the Internet are so vehemently opposed to sadomasochism reminds me of this summer, when a group of people who practiced sadomasochism found me and talked to me for a long time. They were very happy and healthy, and you could say they lived happily. I think those who oppose sadomasochism are very perverted. They scold others just because they feel a little different from themselves and just because they cannot understand such feelings. They seem extremely uneducated."

The secret desire of a woman

Some feminists interpret it from another perspective: "Fifty Shades of Grey" is progressive, at least women can express their sexual fantasies, discuss them openly, and accept their hidden desires. The relationship of conquest and submission between the sexes has never disappeared in reality. However, for British and American professional women who face male bosses and male clients every day, they are usually in a weak position. "Fifty Shades of Grey" is another level of psychological compensation.

When people think of "sex between husband and wife", they tend to think of light, whispers, movements, etc., but they don't often think of fantasy. In fact, sexual fantasy is also one of the effective means of sexual communication between couples.

Sexual fantasies are the most common sexual phenomenon in the world. Every sane person has sexual fantasies of one kind or another. It's just that there are great differences in frequency, length, content, nature and attitude towards it. The content of sexual fantasies is varied and all-encompassing. Studies have shown that the detail and vividness of sexual fantasies are directly proportional to past sexual experiences, imagination, and the amount of media information received. Some people like to be spectators in their sexual fantasies (like moviegoers), some prefer to be the protagonists in the plot, and some like to play multiple roles. Sexual fantasies often occur during sexual activities, especially the "trigger moment" (also known as the critical point) before orgasm. In addition, the free time after waking up and before going to bed, before and just after sexual activity are also times when many people prefer to have sexual fantasies. The survey results confirm that variations within a certain theme are more common, while "constantly changing" ones are relatively rare because the latter require more imagination and creativity.

Sexual fantasy is one of the products of cerebral cortex activity, which lies between consciousness and subconsciousness. It is the spiritual satisfaction of hopes that cannot be realized temporarily in real life. It can enhance physical stimulation, deepen sexual experience, and provide deeper sexual satisfaction. The organic combination of physical stimulation and sexual fantasy in sexual behavior often brings about a more passionate sexual experience, releases the sexual tension in the body more fully, and promotes the arrival of orgasm. For those with functional orgasm disorders (especially female patients), situational orgasm disorders, and couples who feel their sex life is monotonous and boring, sexual fantasies have positive therapeutic significance and can make sex life more satisfying. For couples who already have a harmonious sex life, sexual fantasies are a wonderful halo in the real world, with the color of an ideal world, which will make their sex life even better.

Sexual fantasies have particular benefits for married women, especially those who have difficulty reaching orgasm. In real life, due to the constraints of physical strength, emotions and environmental factors, the subjective satisfaction of each sexual life does not "maintain its value", nor does it necessarily get stronger each time. From the perspective of personal satisfaction and social macro-control, sexual fantasies, as a seasoning for adjustment between couples, are far more positive than extramarital affairs. They are probably the most convenient additional stimulation, with the least investment and the lowest risk.

The reason many people are confused about sexual fantasies is that they cannot objectively view the dialectical relationship between reality and imagination. Fantasy is just imagination, while the intention to put it into action is called a plan; a plan and fantasy are not the same concept. People have enough reason and will not easily become slaves to dreams. People also have enough judgment to distinguish between plans that must be worked hard to achieve and fantasies that can be discarded after they are finished. The relationship between people's sexual fantasies and reality is actually the same as the relationship between the fantasies of the rich and the stars and reality - they are very clear about the possibility of realization. Many people feel deeply anxious and guilty because they imagine having sex with someone other than their spouse. In fact, after truly understanding that "fantasy ≠ reality", it is easy to take sexual fantasies lightly and regard them as a relaxing condiment - condiments will never become the staple food.

Confessing sexual fantasies to each other can be a high-intensity sexual stimulation that can effectively increase the excitement level of both parties and enable both parties to obtain more complete satisfaction. Couples interested in trying this method should first fully communicate and coordinate their sexual values, and understand each other's views on sharing sexual fantasies to avoid being too abrupt. You may want to try talking about your sexual fantasies after reading this article. Of course, sharing sexual fantasies can only maximize their creative effect in the right occasion, environment and special time. Imagination is the basis for creating everything, and couples who make good use of this method will benefit.

About Sex Toys

The popularity of the film also boosted the sales of sex toys. Recent foreign surveys show that women over 40 are most interested in sex toys and are most enthusiastic about buying them. Sexy lingerie, which people did not dare to wear in the past, has now become a hot commodity and is displayed openly.

As we all know, sex toys can be used when people have defects in their sexual function or when they have no sexual partner, or they can be used as an auxiliary means between normal couples. Human sexuality is by no means just sexual intercourse or just to get orgasm, but sexual harmony and sexual satisfaction are important components of married life. When people are unable to complete sexual intercourse normally due to psychological, physiological or other problems, they should not treat it with a negative and inactive attitude. They can use body parts other than the genitals, or use drugs or sex toys to complete sexual activities. For example, when a man's penis cannot erect, sexual intercourse cannot be completed. In that case, the man can use his hands, mouth, tools, etc. to provide non-genital contact sexual stimulation to the woman so that she can get sexual satisfaction.

Some people regard all non-sexual sexual behaviors and activities as abnormal, perverted, and unhealthy. This is an incorrect view or prejudice. Since people can use glasses, hearing aids and other devices to solve their vision and hearing problems, why can't they use sex toys to solve their sexual problems? Of course, sex toys are not omnipotent. After all, they are just mechanical devices. They cannot replace people's emotional investment and psychological needs. Therefore, it is still important to establish a happy marriage and a harmonious sex life. A foreign student brought back a sex toy for his wife from abroad. Unexpectedly, his wife became addicted to the pleasure it brought her and was no longer willing to have sex with her husband, which made the kind-hearted man laugh and cry and feel very upset. In fact, on the one hand, this reflects the wife's insufficient understanding of the couple's sexual life. On the other hand, it also reflects that there must have been quite unsatisfactory aspects in the past sexual life of both parties, and there was a lack of frank communication between the two. Later, with the help of a doctor, the couple reconciled. Sex toys were no longer an obstacle that repelled the husband, but just auxiliary items that added icing on the cake when necessary. For those who have difficulty finding a spouse, are widowed or divorced, or are single, in the absence of a sexual partner and a normal life, sex toys may be a better choice to solve their sexual problems.