Emotional secrets: Seven sentences that "ruin" a woman's life

1. “Women don’t love men unless they are bad”

Are all women masochists? In fact, women just don't like guys who are rigid, clumsy and uninteresting. Relatively speaking, "bad" men are more interesting. But this "bad" should have a special meaning, like the old movie heroine who turns around shyly and pokes the hero's head with her finger: "You are such a bad person!"

A truly bad man is very scary, and a smart woman will quickly smell the scent and escape in time. However, those men who pretend to be bad, commonly known as "playing cool", will soon become women's "disgusting images". Moreover, "bad" men are now out of fashion, as evidenced by the popularity of Leo Ku's version of the "good man" image.

(II) “Men like beautiful and stupid women”

In order to please the prince and maintain a slim figure, Princess Diana began to vomit after eating, and later developed an uncontrollable vomiting disorder. Charles was not grateful for this. On the contrary, he recalled with disgust: "My honeymoon was filled with the smell of vomit." When Charles divorced Diana, Diana's measurements were 35-28-35 (inches), which was called the "devil's golden ratio" by beauty experts. She was an abandoned woman with a perfect figure.

But Camilla, who was old and ugly but had been the prince's obsession for decades, was so popular that even those who had accused her of destroying the royal marriage had to say: "To be fair, everyone who knew Camilla thought she was a lovable woman. She was not only smart, but also very humorous." She was the queen of banquets, and she could talk freely about literature, art, politics and economics. In private, she was a passionate and indulgent lover. When they first met, she did not say hello shyly like a little girl. She said: "My great-grandmother was your great-grandfather's mistress. What do you think?"

Diana? Diana is a high school dropout who can't even pass her make-up exam.

Beauty is something that men value in women, but love is not about looking at posters. When the attraction caused by beauty fades, how can life not be boring if you face a dull and clumsy lover every day? Of course, men who need to find self-confidence in front of women or use beautiful women to show their status may yearn for beautiful and stupid women. But what is there to be proud of in the admiration and worship of a fool?

3. “Men should not make women cry”

Men are not saviors, and women are not clay dolls. In love, tolerance and understanding are necessary; however, unlimited and absolute demands are also unreasonable. Only with "equality" can healthy and deep love be created between people. Men and women are both human beings. They all have their own temperaments and habits, as well as their own strengths and weaknesses. Friction is inevitable. Once friction occurs, it is the men and women who should adjust, rather than the men simply tolerating and bearing the consequences.

Women's emotions are more fragile than men's, while men are more carefree. If you want a man to take full care of a woman's thoughts, Balzac has a metaphor: "It's like asking a gorilla to play the violin." It's okay to have a little friction, shed a few tears and say a few angry words.

Besides, women are sentimental, and shedding a few tears is an emotional catharsis for them, which is very comfortable. It would be a real pain for a woman if she didn't shed tears for love. Looking at the large number of women who prepare tissues every day waiting to watch "My Fair Princess", you will know that crying is often a form of entertainment for women, and a way for them to express their poetic sentiment and enjoy love.

If this sentence is interpreted as "Men cannot cruelly hurt women", then it should also be added that "Women cannot cruelly hurt men". But this is equivalent to saying nothing, so let's just stop.

4. “I don’t ask for eternity, but I ask for having it once.”

The third party often says this when they first become the third party, but later on most of them cry and shout for “forever”. What's the point of deceiving yourself? The desire for exclusivity in love is our unavoidable instinct. When you are the attacker, you are busy preparing shells; when love grows old and you think of defense, how you long for that safe "besieged city".

Another situation is the fear of taking responsibility, so they say in advance that they only care about the present and don’t mention the future. I have a friend whose ex-boyfriend's most unbearable thing was that he always made it clear that "we may not get married in the future" and "it was as if I had to cling to him." My friend finally got so annoyed that she didn't even want the thing she once had. Her ex-boyfriend was stimulated by this and suddenly felt that he couldn't live without her, so he actually proposed to her. And she never looked back.

5. “Being together because of not understanding each other”

The saying "parting because of understanding" seems to have been around for a long time. The theoretical basis is "distance creates beauty", which is like a flower when viewed from a distance, but a mess when viewed up close.

Therefore, this kind of love and marriage guidance has also emerged, saying that both husband and wife should maintain a sense of mystery in marriage and not often expose their naked bodies in front of each other. A friend of mine got divorced recently. His ex-wife followed this rule: when she was taking a shower, her husband must not enter her. If he accidentally entered her, she would scream and cover her body with a bath towel as if she were a hooligan. My friend's comment was: "Is it necessary? What part of her have I not seen before?"

Of course, it is said that psychological understanding is more likely to lead to boredom and leaving. But I want to ask: Is it so easy to understand a person? In just a few years, you get to know a person of the opposite sex who is very different from you and get tired of her? The motto in the Temple of Delphi: "Know thyself." This lesson has been passed down through the ages. It is so difficult for people to understand themselves, so how can it be so easy to understand a person of the opposite sex?

On the contrary, only love based on understanding is deep and lasting. In the process of getting to know each other, we also get to know ourselves. That kind of happiness is definitely not as intense as an orgasm, but it must be deeper and greater.

(VI) “We broke up because we were not meant to be together”

Fate is a Buddhist concept. It is very profound and is a kind of cause and effect theory. When we talk about love now, the meaning is actually very shallow, which is to say, how come I met you among thousands of people. It is not easy to meet, know and love each other; unfortunately, too many irresistible factors force us to separate. This is the fateful ending. It is not our fault, it is fate's fault.

It may seem like modern people are talking about logic, but in fact, it is no different from the way ancient people calculated birth charts. When love is painful and not going smoothly, instead of reflecting on one's own reasons, one blames it on fate, saying that destiny is unpredictable. This is like a child who is tripped and instead of saying that it was not careless, he hits the stool and scolds it for blocking the way.

In modern society, love and marriage are autonomous and protected by law. Except for extremely rare cases such as serious illness or disaster, the failure of love and marriage is generally related to the personality of both parties. If it is because of incompatibility of personalities and living habits, and if this cannot be changed, breaking up rationally is also a solution; if it is because of a lack of maturity of mind and the art of loving, then you must make up for it quickly. There are reasons for bad love, and the right thing to do is to find out the real reasons, rather than blaming others and blaming fate and destiny.

(VII) “Find someone who loves you and forget the one you love”

In this sentence, the person who loves you and the person you love are definitely not the same person. "I would rather find someone who loves you" is quite practical, only accepting, not giving. I just haven't heard that people who divide their lives can be happy. Moreover, love doesn’t seem to be entirely a business. If the profit is greater than the cost, then you make a profit. On the contrary, love itself is more worthy of blessing to love than to be loved. Psychologist Erich Fromm said in his famous book "The Art of Loving": "Good love is first of all about 'giving' rather than 'getting', because 'giving' is more joyful than 'getting'. 'Giving' is not a sacrifice, but an expression of 'abundance' and 'vitality'." "It's like a poor person is pitiful not only because he is poor, but also because he is deprived of the ability to "give".

It is indeed sad to love but not be loved, but isn't it too selfish and cruel to put the same sadness on the person who loves you? When I was in college, some students had their bicycles stolen, so they went on to steal someone else's bicycle to compensate, which ended up causing more people to have their bicycles stolen. It's a sad story of dominoes because when the first one falls, all fall.

Inability to love is an epidemic in modern society. If you can truly fall in love with someone and truly suffer for love, then congratulations, your body and mind are healthy, and your pain is not the despair of being loved by no one in the world. You can’t force being loved, but first of all, having the ability to love is something to be blessed.