How contagious is extramarital affair?

Extramarital affairs are a hot topic in marriage today and are the most talked about gossip among women. Let’s take a look at the contagious psychology of extramarital affairs that you don’t know about.

In the vast Chinese vocabulary, "extramarital affair" is definitely a neutral word, neither positive nor negative, with just the right amount of saltiness and blandness, like a prostitute who has turned over a new leaf, with a story-filled flavor lingering in her rules. What about before becoming a good woman? Its name is "adultery".

Although they all express the central idea of ​​"a married person having a romantic affair with someone other than his or her spouse." "Extramarital affair" is much more open-minded and tolerant than "adultery". On the one hand, this is because the openness of society and the implementation of "monogamy" have made it increasingly difficult for people to remain chaste until old age, and the number of people cheating has become increasingly large; on the other hand, it is also because people have begun to realize that men or mistresses are not the only culprits of cheating. Extramarital affairs are not only a simple physiological impulse, but also a "disease" that cannot be controlled by oneself! It is most contagious between two generations in a family and among classmates and friends.

1. Extramarital affairs are a genetic disease and are most commonly transmitted in families.

Among many criteria for choosing a spouse, there is one that says “choose a man based on his family background”. "Family quality" includes the loyalty of the other party's parents in marriage. Many research results have shown that "extramarital affairs" are most easily contagious between two generations. If the previous generation has serious extramarital affairs, the probability of their next generation having an affair is as high as 67%.

Extramarital affairs do have a strong family hereditary characteristic. This kind of inheritance is not passed on to the next generation through genes, but affects the next generation through psychological "black memories". That is to say, if his parents have had an extramarital affair, then no matter whether the extramarital affair is hidden or open, his psychology will be deeply branded with the painful "black memory" of fear of being abandoned and alienated, and this "black memory" will accompany him for most of his life, causing him to deal with this pain and fear by having an extramarital affair.

Of course, many men will promise their partners that they have suffered a lot from the infidelity of their parents and ancestors, so they will never let the same tragedy happen to their children. But this wish is often difficult to achieve. Because as humans grow from being dependent on their parents as children to becoming truly unique individuals as they grow up, they will automatically transform the rules and characteristics of the environment into their own internal rules and characteristics. This subconscious identification is only subject to the things and people that have left the deepest impression on him. It is not controlled by him or affected by his personal will.

2. Be wary of men’s bad friends. Extramarital affairs are a plague that plagues the circle of friends.

Many women know that "extramarital affairs are hereditary" and think that everything will be fine if they marry a man with a clean background and harmonious family relationships. This is totally wrong.

"Extramarital affair" is not only a congenital genetic disease, but also an acquired infectious disease.

Even if a man grows up and gets married in a complete and trouble-free family, an "extramarital affair" will not necessarily let him go. This time, the virus spread among his social circle of friends. If a man is not careful in making friends, he will be conquered by the flourishing virus and his city gates will be lost.

As a species whose brains are dominated by male hormones, men's animal nature is very obvious. Vanity and love of reputation are one of the essential attributes, and the second essential attribute is the unwillingness to be lonely and the love of excitement. If one's moral values ​​are not fully formed since childhood, once he gains some social status, he is often easily driven by "animality" and chooses a few wild flowers to surround himself with in order to show off his status.

There may not be many such people in the circle of friends at the beginning. They unconsciously bring the virus of "extramarital affair" into the circle, and promote and spread it through various "showing of masculine power". Those with weak wills will soon follow suit. When a spark turns into a prairie fire and everyone in the circle of friends has a lover card "The Flower of Talking", the one who is loyal to the marriage becomes an outlier. Even if a man does not want to betray his wife, if he wants to fit into this circle, he has to learn some skills to act according to the circumstances. Moreover, in order to keep secrets, the cheating group will always try every means to bring down these moral gentlemen, using inducement, persuasion, and provocation, and then supplemented by long-term "personal practice" and "setting an example by themselves", and it is only a matter of time before men's morality declines and they follow suit.

A man’s extramarital affair is always a nightmare for a woman, which is easy to encounter, difficult to escape from, and difficult to get rid of. It is contagious like the plague. You can prevent it at this moment, but you can't prevent it at that moment. It is possible that the foreshadowing was laid in his early childhood, or that the city was conquered in his middle age.

What women can do is not only to nip a man in the bud when he shows signs of cheating; more importantly, it is to cultivate oneself and mind, so that one can have a stronger inner self and a more attractive appearance. When a man is completely lost, she makes a gorgeous turn and seeks a second spring in life.

The affair sounded the alarm bell of marriage crisis

The collapse of a marriage is not just the introduction of an extramarital affair, but also the result of the relationship between the two reaching a vague period. In fact, from another perspective, the emergence of an extramarital affair is not only bad, it can also serve as a wake-up call for you.

A marriage is in crisis and an extramarital affair has occurred, which is not entirely a bad thing. In today's society, extramarital affairs are not uncommon in marriages. First of all, since an affair has occurred in a marriage, you must first accept this fact. The failure of a marriage does not mean the failure of your life. If you put yourself in extreme sadness, the problem will be difficult to solve. An affair is not entirely a bad thing, or it is a warning bell in your marriage, which makes you better understand how to cherish a family.

A marriage crisis is not just a bad luck that happens to you alone. With the changes of the times, cases of extramarital affairs have increased greatly compared to the past.

In family system arrangement cases, "affair" is a problem that is often encountered. After doing so many cases, I found that: affair is a mirror of marriage growth!

Extramarital affair has always been a plague that women in marriage fear deeply. When I encounter psychological counseling on marriage and emotional cases, I always analyze and emphasize to the clients again and again that in a relationship, the reason why one party chooses to cheat is because some of his or her psychological or physiological needs are not met, so when an external stimulus appears, he or she will hold on to it tightly and is unwilling to give up easily. In other words, it is precisely because problems and crises have arisen in the marriage, but both parties in the marriage have not paid enough attention and worked hard to solve these problems, which has led to one of the parties cheating. If you regard one party's affair as a catastrophe for yourself, you will become self-pitying, grief-stricken, and even fall into a state of despair. But if one party's affair is viewed as a sign that the marriage is sick, the affair will allow both parties to reflect and grow together, and then the marriage that has experienced hardships and setbacks will become stronger.

Is an affair a betrayal or a reminder?

A female author from Taiwan once said something very insightful: extramarital affair touches upon the most feared and most painful "betrayal" complex in human nature, and will cause the parties involved to suffer tremendous psychological trauma that is difficult to heal.

The meaning of marriage lies in absolute trust and mutual dependence. Like a pair of conjoined sisters, each of us makes use of all the strengths we have, makes up for the other's shortcomings, and copes with life together - this is what most of us think when we step onto the red carpet of marriage. This exposes us to an unguarded weak point. When an affair occurs, many people cannot face the betrayal of their "conjoined sisters" and will commit a series of crazy acts.

Open one eye and inoculate your emotional life with a smallpox to increase your immunity. In this way, once "things" happen, they cannot hurt our beliefs in life and confidence in survival. An affair is not necessarily a real betrayal, but it is a reminder, an unfriendly reminder. It is telling you that your marriage has caught a cold and you need to carefully care for it and listen to it, because marriages can get sick just like people.

You can see it most clearly when you have an affair!

A marriage crisis is not a misfortune that only happens to you. With the changes of the times, incidents of extramarital affairs have greatly increased compared to the past, and have become a more serious family problem that makes society uneasy. With this mental preparation, it is easy to look at things in a positive light. When people who are not mentally prepared learn that their partner has had an affair, they are likely to be heartbroken. If you occasionally behave abnormally, don't be ashamed of it. This is a normal reaction, just as you need to vent your emotions by crying.

But you should also be careful to stay calm and constantly remind yourself how to minimize the disaster so as not to harm others and yourself; carefully evaluate your marriage to see if it can still be saved. If it can be saved and you are willing to save it, then make efforts to do so. This kind of effort will have two benefits. First, it may be possible to restore the original integrity and family affection of your family. Second, when the other party still insists on leaving, you can see the true face of the matter, so that you will not hesitate now and will not regret in the future. If the other party has indeed fallen in love with someone else, don't fall into the emotions of worrying about gains and losses, love and hate, but bravely give up him, walk out of this marriage, and don't forget that you still have countless beautiful tomorrows. The best way to punish someone is to live a better life yourself.

The failure of a marriage does not mean the failure of your life! If you feel extremely depressed, seek psychological counseling from a specialized institution, because talking is the best healing tool. You will be able to sort out your thoughts, calm your emotions, and calm yourself down without realizing it. Maybe you will have a plan in mind the next moment.

In fact, crisis = danger + turning point. An affair not only brings danger to a marriage, but it also brings opportunities for a marriage to a greater extent, allowing both parties to realize the problems in the marriage, face them objectively, and deal with them correctly, which may also bring hope.

After you have worked on a case of family system arrangement, you will also find that an affair is a mirror in family and marriage, which allows you to see your own problems more clearly.

The occurrence of an extramarital affair can make you realize the importance of a harmonious family. If you want to continue, you must do your best to save it. If there is no love, it is better to let go early.