Children who are too honest are prone to psychological problems

Why are obedient children more likely to have sexual problems than naughty ones?

Why does this happen?

This is because Prince Charming and Snow White-like children have gained experience from a large number of interactions with the opposite sex, learned how to distinguish, and learned how to know when to stop, etc. They learned everything from here, so nothing goes wrong for them.

Those who blush when they see a girl, if they finally get a chance, they will rush up and cause trouble; those girls who hide away when they see a boy, when they are pursued by the opposite sex,

Many times we don’t know how to deal with it better. Or, he/she does not understand the opposite sex until after marriage; even if he/she understands sexual behavior, he/she still does not understand the other gender world and does not know how to better experience his/her marriage and love.

Tao is a tall and handsome boy. He has always been an excellent student since he was young. He has always made his parents proud to have such an outstanding son. After graduating with a doctorate, he worked in a scientific research institution. But seeing that the child is already 32 years old and still has no girlfriend, his parents are very anxious and ask relatives and friends to introduce him to a girlfriend. Many girls were satisfied at first when they heard his conditions, but after only a few times of dating, the other party broke up with various reasons, which hit Tao hard. In the end, no matter who introduced girls to him, Tao refused to meet them. As time went on, relatives and friends began to talk about Tao, asking if he had any illness. This made Tao carry heavy psychological pressure wherever he went, and his work efficiency was greatly affected. During the psychological consultation, we learned that he believed that he should study hard when he was in school, and dating girls was puppy love, which was something he should not do. Throughout middle school, he never took the initiative to talk to female classmates. When he was in college, many of his classmates started dating, but he still put all his energy into studying. His goal was to pursue a master's degree and a doctorate. Although he sometimes envied those classmates who had girlfriends, he forced himself to suppress it. He turned this desire for the opposite sex into motivation for study and never dated a girl. After graduation, I found a good job and my career was developing well. I thought it was time for me to get married, but suddenly I realized that I didn't know how to date girls at all. Normally, I have no problem interacting with people of the same sex, but when it comes to interacting with girls, I become nervous and my face starts to blush. Sometimes I even stutter when I speak. This feeling of nervousness and anxiety is particularly severe when I meet a girl I like. Tao said that when other people meet a girl they like, they will actively pursue her, but when he meets a girl he likes, he just stays away from her.

Some people may ask, what should we parents do? The most important thing is, as a parent, what do you think will happen to China in 5, 10, or 20 years? What will your children be like? Do you have a clear understanding? If you do, you can think of it yourself without me teaching you; if not, no amount of words will have any positive effect.

There is a type of boy who is like "Prince Charming" and a type of girl who is like "Snow White", that is, there are children who have a lot of opposite sexes around them. According to our traditional concepts, these people must be the most dangerous and most likely to get into trouble, and they must have had sex with others a long time ago. But we can find that in reality they often don't have such a thing. It is precisely those people who seem to be very honest and keep their heads down, but suddenly do something that scares you. This is what the common people say, "The dog that bites doesn't bark."

Tongtong is a 15-year-old girl who is cute and well-behaved. She was brought to psychological counseling by her parents because of depression. Her parents said that Tongtong was very sensible since she was very young. She did everything by herself and her parents never had to worry about her. She studied very hard. When she was in the sixth grade of primary school, she had a heavy workload because of the transition from primary school to junior high school. She set a goal for herself to be admitted to a key middle school in the city. At that time, she often studied until midnight before going to bed, which was heartbreaking to see. Tongtong successfully passed the entrance examination and was admitted to a key middle school in the city. However, in the second semester of the second year of junior high school, Tongtong changed. She used to be very sensible, but now she would get angry easily at home, which puzzled her parents. When they asked her if she was feeling unwell or if something happened, she would either yell "Are you annoying? Are you going to let me live?" in response to her parents' concern, so that her parents dared not ask any more questions; or she would remain silent no matter how her parents asked. Her parents thought that maybe the condition would get better after a while, but they didn't expect it to get worse and worse, and her academic performance plummeted. In the third year of junior high school, Tongtong asked to take a leave of absence, saying that she didn't want to go to school anymore. At this time, the parents began to take the child seriously and took him to the hospital. The child was diagnosed with depression and was given medicine to recuperate at home. The child took the medicine for more than two months, but there was no effect. The parents became anxious and brought him for psychological counseling.

During the psychological counseling, we learned that Tongtong was liked by a boy when she was in the second grade of junior high school. Under his constant pursuit, Tongtong began to date him. Tongtong has never interacted with the opposite sex before, and this feeling of being "cared for" makes her feel good. Once, the two had sex on impulse. Afterwards, Tongtong blamed herself and thought it was not good. But when the other party asked her for sex the next time, she didn't know how to refuse and couldn't help but agree. In this constant conflict, Tongtong became more and more depressed and was always anxious about whether she would get pregnant, or what her parents would do if they knew. Although she has long ended her relationship with the boy, she is still haunted by the experience. She dares not tell her parents because she has always been a good child in their eyes. She cannot imagine what will happen if her parents know what she has done, and she is always worried and afraid.