What should you do if your child sees you having sex?

In China, when children are young, they usually live in the same room with their parents and even sleep in the same bed. When the child is 5-6 years old, he or she should sleep in a separate bed or room. Even if they live in separate rooms, children may suddenly run to the parents' room at night and ask to sleep together for various excuses. Although parents only dare to throw themselves into their partner's arms and enjoy their own sex after coaxing their children to sleep, the embarrassment of being accidentally hit by their children will still occur.

Therefore, this problem has become a headache for parents. In parent training, we often encounter parents asking, "What should we do when our children bump into us while we are having sex?" Here are some suggestions for parents, which can not only resolve the embarrassment, but also provide good sex education:

1. Parents may feel "startled", shy, or even angry, which is a very normal psychological reaction under the circumstances; however, they should digest this emotion in the shortest possible time. In addition to adjusting the cover and body posture as soon as possible, they should shift their attention to the child as soon as possible. The more natural the process is, the better.

2. If a child asks "What are you doing?" it means he/she knows nothing about it. This is a good opportunity for sex education. According to the child's age, use language he/she understands and give a concise explanation. This is an unexpected event for the child and he/she is not mentally prepared, so a long speech is not appropriate. The principle is to start with a rhetorical question, such as "What do you think we are doing?" to understand where the child's curiosity lies, rather than focusing on the parents' own embarrassment about sex and finding it difficult to talk about it. If the child keeps asking questions, parents should stop, because there is too much information for the child to digest in time, especially when parents are not fully prepared to give the child sex education. Therefore, parents can take advantage of the child's curiosity and continue to educate him or her on sex knowledge in the near future.

3. If the child does not speak, turns around and walks away (turns around and pretends to be asleep), it means that the child feels uncomfortable with this situation. As to whether he or she really understands what sex is, it is still unknown. At this time, it is not appropriate for parents to take the initiative to communicate with their children. We should take the initiative to understand our children's understanding of sex and provide them with appropriate sexual knowledge education in the near future.

4. If the child expresses any negative emotions, parents should communicate with the child as soon as possible. It is best to understand the reasons for the child's negative reaction. If the child refuses to communicate, parents should also take the initiative to express, such as "We are not fighting; he/she is not bullying me; we are not doing anything shameful; we are willing to do such things; we love each other, and this is one of the ways for adults to express their love; this matter is our privacy, and the fact that we are not with you does not mean that we don't love you" and so on. The purpose is to seize the opportunity to prevent or promptly correct children’s negative ideas about sex or even wrong perceptions.

5. Partners should avoid blaming each other, as this will increase the child’s discomfort and even make them feel guilty.

6. Partners should comfort each other, learn lessons, discuss a good solution, and try to avoid such incidents from happening again; do not let such accidents affect your future sex life.