Eight kinds of love that have no results!

"Time can change everything!" This is true, but when it comes to love, you have to think carefully. If you are trying to change your embarrassing situation now, the following 8 situations are for your reference. If love has no results, it’s better to let go as soon as possible.

1. You care about the other person more

You are in a relationship, but you are not sure what your partner thinks; you think you are a good match, but he doesn’t seem to agree; you miss him a lot when he is not around, but he seems to be no different when you are not around. What does this mean?

"How can two walk together unless they are of the same mind?" Sometimes one person loves the other more. If it is a healthy relationship, there will be alternation, and the two people take turns playing the roles of pursuer and being pursued; but if one party always plays the role of pursuer, such a relationship is not healthy. In the long run, you will be hungry for love, you will feel controlled by the other party, you will feel angry, deceived, and painful.

2. You love the other person’s potential

What you love is the other person's potential, not what the other person really is. What you love is what the other person might be like in the future. Then he is not your partner at all, but the object of your transformation. Every time we do premarital counseling, we always ask: If the other person does not change in fifty years, will you be satisfied? If you keep hoping to change the other person so that you will feel more satisfied, then it is not love, but gambling, using the happiness of both parties as a bet.

When you are dating someone, you should love and respect the other person for who he is, not what he will be in the future. You can expect him to continue to grow, but you must be satisfied with who he is now.

3. You want to help the other person

Do you often feel pity for the other person? Do you think it is your responsibility to help the other person cheer up? Are you afraid that if you leave the other person, he will not be able to bear the blow? If so, you are probably a "rescue maniac."

A "rescue maniac" will not look for a suitable object, but rather for someone he sympathizes with and can help. Look for a person who had suffered traumatic, fragile, dependent, not loved, wronged, you give birth to love by pity, he will be grateful to you, such feeling is like a rescue mission, not perfect, balanced feeling. The key thing to keep in mind here is "respect". The person you love must be someone you can respect, and you must be proud of him/her. Your partner does not want you to rescue him/her, but wants you to truly understand him/her.

4. Treat the other person as an object of worship

A young female star falls in love with a director, a college student falls in love with a professor, a secretary falls in love with his boss... falling in love with the object of admiration, this kind of relationship is difficult to maintain normal because the two people cannot treat each other equally.

Men and women must be treated equally. I don’t mean in terms of status, but attitude. They cannot worship each other too much. People who fall in love with the object of their admiration usually have low self-confidence and feel terrible about themselves.

5. You are only attracted to the other person’s appearance

Everyone does this, right? If you find yourself attracted to a certain quality in someone, ask yourself, if that person didn't have those big blue eyes, that sweet voice..., if that person wasn't a model, couldn't play basketball..., would I still be with him or her?

6. A brief opportunity to spend time together

You and your partner share a job and often have to work overtime together, so you feel like you're in love with each other... You go on vacation for three weeks and meet a man who's also on vacation, and you feel like you're falling in love... Short-term time together refers to being together under special circumstances, not a routine, and this kind of relationship cannot last, because a short period of time together cannot enable you to fully understand each other's personality.

7. I chose this person for the purpose of rebellion

Your parents always tell you to find a rich partner, but all your boyfriends are poor. Your parents have been strict with you since you were young, but all your girlfriends are casual. Your father has always told you that passing on the family line is the most important thing, but your girlfriend either can't have children or doesn't want to have children...

If the person you choose always makes your parents angry, it is very likely that you just want to rebel and you feel you must prove something to fight back. When you cannot control your own choices, you do not truly love the other person and this relationship is doomed to have no results.

8. The other party is not a free agent

I saved this for last because it’s not really a relationship at all. The first prerequisite for choosing a life partner is that the other person is "free". "Free" means that the person can freely date you, is not married, not engaged, has no fixed partner, has not slept with others, is single, and only dates you.

If the man you fall in love with promises to break up with the other woman as soon as possible; or he says he doesn't love that woman, he loves you; or his ex-partner accepts your existence and they don't plan to break up, but he wants to be with you for a while; or he just broke up but may get back together... these are not being free.

Don't date someone who is married or in a relationship. No matter what the excuse is, the result is the same, you are destined to have your heart broken. Don't forget, you are just taking on what's left over from another person. The choice is yours, the responsibility is on you, you have to choose the right person. If you are in a relationship and you are in one of the eight relationships mentioned above, go get counseling, don't waste your time, there are better people waiting for you!