Can men understand the true feelings of women's "first time"?

Some women have positive or negative feelings about their first sexual intercourse, which is closely related to the feelings of both parties. That is to say, although most women will bleed and feel varying degrees of pain for the first time, because the relationship between the two parties is good, women will regard this experience as an obligation and thus develop a sense of belonging; if the relationship between the two parties is not good, this will increase the sense of disgust.

What does the first time mean to a woman?

The first experience is dominated by positive feelings - a sense of obligation and belonging

"The first time I had sex was very painful, especially painful. I really accepted it completely for love, because love requires endurance and sacrifice. He couldn't bear it anymore, saying, just forget it when you see how painful you are. After the first time, I felt that everyone in the world had changed. When I saw a person on the street, I would think that he would do that thing at night, as if I had seen another side of the person." "We have not had sex successfully since we got married. It took several days before we succeeded. There was no pleasure, only psychological satisfaction." "We had sex after we registered, but we hadn't had a wedding yet. The first time, I didn't feel anything except pain. I felt like I was an adult from then on." "We didn't feel anything the first time. I felt a little nervous, but it didn't hurt much, and it went through it in a daze."

"I had sex for the first time when I was 21, before marriage. It didn't hurt." "He and I didn't have sex before marriage. He was worried about himself before marriage, thinking he was too old (over 30), neurasthenic, and sentimental. He was under a lot of psychological pressure on the wedding day. I ejaculated without putting it in that night. He said at the time: I can't do it, we have to divorce. It took about a month after marriage to actually make it. I felt a little pain and bled a little. His penis is small and he is not physically strong, so he was under a lot of psychological pressure."

"It was very painful the first time, and it still hurt sometimes afterwards." "He couldn't do it the first time, and neither could I. My husband's moral character is impeccable. His family is a revolutionary family, and they don't teach us anything except orthodox education, so we didn't know anything, not even about having sex. At that time, we couldn't find any books, and my mother didn't tell us. He couldn't find the right place the first time. It was very painful for me, but we finally succeeded. He turned on the light and saw blood, and he said: You're still a virgin.

"Of course, my first sexual intercourse was after marriage, and I didn't seem to feel any pain. He was not experienced at first, and it seems that my hymen was broken later." "I remember that I didn't let him do it the first time, and he could do whatever he wanted because I didn't want children. He said that what I did was very rare. Later, I took birth control pills and dared to do it. I don't have much impression of this first time. It didn't seem to hurt, and I didn't know there was such a thing as an orgasm. He didn't know either." A woman who gave her virginity to a married man described her feelings like this: "He came to my dormitory that day, and it was my first sexual intercourse. He pressed me on the bed, and it was a little painful after he entered. Before that, I only knew that men had to enter women's bodies, but I didn't know where to enter. After he entered, I felt like the two of us had merged into one. I thought that this meant that we were going to live together, and there was a feeling of 'I am his'."

The first experience was dominated by negative feelings - disgust

Most of the women who felt disgust and pain when recalling their first sexual experience were either divorced or had a bad relationship with their husbands. From this it can be seen that sex life is closely related to the relationship between husband and wife, but it is difficult to say which is the cause and which is the effect; it is very likely that they are mutually causal - because of the bad relationship they feel disgusted with sexual intercourse; and because of the bad impression of sexual intercourse, the deterioration of the relationship between husband and wife is aggravated. A divorced woman recalled her first sexual experience: "The first sexual experience was terrible. I had never been in love before I married him. I didn't like him at first and felt awkward. He peed all over me during our first sexual experience, which left a very bad impression on me. I never liked sex after that. I never received any caress or love from anyone, only the feeling of being humiliated." "The first time was very painful, and I bled, and it wasn't very successful.

He didn't let me sleep much that night and did it four times. The last time, I cried, sat up and said to him, what are you doing? The pain continued for the next few days, and it went away after a month. "It didn't hurt the first time, he had premature ejaculation. I was quite disgusted, and although I didn't say it, he could feel it. Until this time, I had never seen male genitals, only children's, and I found them quite stimulating. “The first time I was scared, I felt pain, I was shocked, I didn’t like it, I was unhappy, and I felt uncomfortable. The most I like from men is a hug and some caress, that's all. "Some women feel bad about their first experience, not because they dislike the thing itself, but because the object of their first sexual relationship was not their husband but their lover, and the psychological pressure is too great: "My first time was not with my husband. I was no longer a child by then. I remember that I was very scared when we kissed, and I hated him so much, thinking that he was the one who harmed me.

I think it is an instinctive fear, which is somehow related to the Chinese-style education I received since childhood. I was resistant to this matter at first. He begged me to do it, but I kept refusing. Finally, I did it because I couldn't refuse anymore. In fact, he also has strong traditional moral values. We are just ordinary boyfriend and girlfriend, and he has a wife. I still take the first viewing very seriously. "Although women feel very differently about their first sexual experience, most of them take it very seriously because it is the "first time" in their life experience after all. There are many "first times" in a person's life. I remember a mother said how she observed her child's "first time" with joy: the first time speaking, the first time walking, the first time learning to read, and so on.

However, in the minds of many women, the first sexual intercourse has a different meaning from other "first times" - losing virginity, becoming an "adult", becoming a different person than before; this feeling should be seen as mainly psychological rather than physiological. In other words, the difference between this "first time" and other "first times" mainly comes from social norms and the special meaning that society gives to sexual behavior.