9 Sexual Secrets Hidden in the Hearts of Men and Women

Do you have a secret deep in your heart about sex? Maybe you like foreplay that is different from others, or maybe you sometimes worry that the time is too short. Don't panic, some preferences and phenomena in sex life are actually normal. Recently, the British media asked sexologists to list some doubts that people rarely talk about and give correct guidance.

1. You already have a partner, but you still masturbate frequently.

There's nothing to be embarrassed about; this behavior doesn't mean you're not having enough sex, nor does it mean your sex life is not harmonious. On the contrary, it indicates that your sexual ability and desire are stronger. It's a healthy way to release sexual energy on your own when your partner doesn't want sex. Studies have found that people who are good at masturbation tend to have a happier sex life, but don't get addicted to it; just treat it as a "snack" after dinner.

2. Fantasizing about an idol while having sex with your partner.

No matter how much you love your significant other, you may still fantasize about being intimate with other people because people like novelty and excitement. The Kinsey Report on Sexuality pointed out that 67% of women often have sexual fantasies, and men have sexual fantasies even more frequently. Experts encourage people to have more sexual fantasies to help increase their sexual desire. In addition, sharing your sexual fantasies with each other is a great way to flirt.

3. Tend to follow the same routine during sex.

In fact, many couples are like this. The length of time they have sex is the same each time, and the order of changing positions is also roughly the same. This habit doesn't mean your sex life is bad. For some people, predictability in sex is a good thing; they know when to increase stimulation and when to orgasm.

4. Like to have sex in bright places.

Light allows you to see your lover's excitement and also allows you to have more eye contact, so many people like to have sex with the lights on. However, women's demand for lighting is far less intense than men's. As sex progresses, women hope the lights can be dimmer so that they can relax and immerse themselves in it.

5. Certain actions or topics of the other person during intimacy will make you lose interest in sex.

Sex is a pleasant and enjoyable thing, but it does not mean that you can do whatever you want without taboos. Sometimes the other person's actions or topics may make you lose interest, such as talking about money or grabbing a part of your body. At this time, just tell your partner directly, don't hold it in.

6. Sometimes you doubt your own sexual attractiveness.

It doesn’t matter, even the sexiest man or woman of the year feels “ugly” or “fat” sometimes. Sometimes you are more confident, sometimes you are less confident, and that's normal. If you consistently feel like you're sexually unattractive and that thought is keeping you from wanting sex, there's a problem. If you only feel that way one or two days a month, you don't have to worry.

7. The insertion time did not last long.

Studies show that most men only have an intercourse time of 7 to 13 minutes. In fact, an average man can reach orgasm with about 4 minutes of penetration. So, don't look at the statistics, the most important thing is: does it last long enough for both of you to be happy? If the penetration only lasts for a minute, but it is enough for both of you to be satisfied, then there is no problem.

8. Not having sex as often.

Having sex a few times a month is just a suggestion, and every couple has peaks and troughs. If you only have sex once a month, there may be a problem. But if you have two children under the age of five, are unhappy at work, and your family is not well off, then you probably won't have sex every night.

9. Sex isn’t as passionate and intense.

Sex provides us with many things, not just the release of sexual desire. It’s also about love, it’s about fun, and more importantly, it strengthens the connection between you and your partner. Few couples continue to have passionate sex. It doesn’t matter if our sex life isn’t as exciting as on TV; after all, it’s just a way to please ourselves and an expression of love.