5 ways foreplay can ruin sex

Foreplay plays a very important additive role in the entire sexual process. If there is no foreplay, sex will be disharmonious and even cause alienation in men. However, excessive or unnecessary foreplay is the killer of good sex.

1. Talking too much.

Many people know that foreplay is not only about physical actions, but also about words. However, many people may make mistakes by talking too much, thus "ruining their nature", such as telling too many dirty jokes. Sex expert April Matheny says you should be careful when throwing out new or erotic statements, as saying them incorrectly can quickly dampen the mood.

Expert advice: A general principle is that your words must be simple and straightforward, with more praise and less sarcasm. For example, you can say how sexy and fascinating a certain part of your female companion's body is, or talk about your sexual fantasies about her. Never talk about mundane matters, such as how busy you are at work, what housework you have left to do, or things about your children. Fowler says recent studies show that sexual arousal has more to do with avoiding certain "turn-offs" than how well you can arouse your partner. “Especially avoid the topic of money,” she stressed.

2. Always focus on the same point.

When people are pursuing a goal, they always like to focus on one point, but this does not apply to sexual desire. "Sex organs are wonderful and fascinating, but you should never jump right into it and spend some time focusing on your partner's entire body," said Cathy Fowler, co-owner of a sex education company in Baltimore.

Expert tip: Try caressing, kissing, or nibbling your partner's erogenous zones, such as the neck, back, ears, abdomen, or wrists. Exploring and finding new erogenous points on your partner shows that you are proactively responding to his or her needs and being generous.

3. Foreplay is too fast or too forceful.

Masini said: "Quick sex can help people enjoy more pleasure, but it does not mean that foreplay can end quickly." If the foreplay is too fast, the man ejaculates early, and the woman's needs have just been aroused, it seems that the man does not really care about the woman's needs and is a bit indifferent and ruthless. Sex expert Jenny Block further points out that applying too much force to a woman's erogenous zones is another common mistake during foreplay.

Expert tip: Bullock says women need time to warm up, so foreplay should last at least 15 minutes. When touching your partner's private parts, be gentle. Maybe your female partner likes a certain amount of force, but you must increase the force slowly and communicate with her.

4. Believe that men don’t need foreplay.

When it comes to foreplay, people often think of it as something men do for women. In fact, this is a misunderstanding. Tender and passionate foreplay can also help men relax completely, fully erect their penis, and effectively prolong sexual intercourse time, allowing men to experience a more intense orgasm.

Expert advice: Tell your female partner the foreplay you want, such as sexy dressing that is half-revealed and half-covered, which can arouse a man's instinct to enjoy it to his heart's content; a faint feminine scent can stimulate the secretion of hormones and arouse a man's endless reverie; caressing and kissing sensitive parts of the body such as the ears, neck, and chest will allow a man to completely relax and devote himself to sex.

5. Always ask about feelings.

During sex, appropriately asking the other person about their feelings can help you control the rhythm, but if you frequently ask the other person "how do you feel?", "are you comfortable?", etc., it will create psychological pressure on your partner and make him (her) become insecure.

Expert advice: Give feedback to the other person through body movements and facial expressions, such as rapid breathing and forceful movements. Make timely adjustments based on these performances.