70% of people lost their first time on their wedding night

The ancients said that there are four great joys in life: being named on the list of successful candidates, the wedding night, meeting an old friend in a foreign land, and rain after a long drought. The wedding night has been given multiple meanings since ancient times and is a very important event in life. However, a recent British survey shows that 72% of people believe that the wedding night has lost its original importance. How has wedding night changed in the eyes of the Chinese?

What are they doing on their wedding night?

"To be honest, what impressed me most about my wedding night was how tired I was." Ms. Zhang, who just got married on National Day this year, told reporters that she and her husband's hometowns are in different cities, so they had to hold their wedding in two places that were far apart. During the National Day holiday, they were running around preparing banquets. "On the wedding night, he got drunk and many relatives and friends came to the bridal chamber to make trouble. I was always entertaining them, and in the end, we were so tired that we fell asleep." Miss Zhang said helplessly.

Like Miss Zhang, many young people are quite busy on their wedding day. The survey shows that 88% of people spent their wedding day constantly toasting, drinking, entertaining guests and worrying about wedding details, 43.5% felt "very tired and just wanted to sleep" that night, and 7.6% said "one party was drunk." Additionally, some people spend their wedding night dealing with conflicts among friends or family members, while others argue over trivial matters or worry about the future.

In this regard, Li Huili, a member of the Chinese Society of Sexology and a marriage and love counseling expert, said that getting married is indeed a complicated matter, especially for modern people. The geographical span is large, the holidays are short, and the customs in different regions vary. Young people have more things to do, which to a certain extent dilutes people's expectations for the wedding night and thus affects their sex life.

Did you have sex before your wedding night?

70% of people lost their first time and half of newlyweds failed to have sex

The survey also shows that the important "wedding night" has lost its original meaning in the eyes of Chinese people. 57.4% of people believe that "the wedding night is not as important as it used to be", and 68% of couples have had sex or lived together before their wedding night. At the same time, 25% of people do not have sex on their wedding night, and nearly 50% have "unsatisfactory and unsuccessful" sex on their wedding night.

Fang Gang, director of the Institute of Sex and Gender at Beijing Forestry University, said: "This result is very normal." In the past, the biggest reason why the wedding night was important was because it was the "first time." For everyone, the "first time" is endowed with countless fantasies and expectations: as gorgeous as fireworks, as shocking as an earthquake, or as magical as a comet passing by. In the past, people called the wedding night "consummation of the wedding": the union of a man and a woman was complete, so people were full of expectations for that night. But now, most people have sex before their wedding night, "as expectations decrease, its importance will certainly decrease."

Less expectations, more regrets

Regarding the change in people's attitude towards their wedding night, Li Huili believes that it should be viewed from two aspects. On the one hand, this shows that people's sexual concepts have become more open, and whether or not to get married is no longer the only criterion for having sex life. Having sex for love is the correct concept. On the other hand, it is somewhat regrettable that I don’t have the wonderful expectations for the wedding night.

Emily Dubrey, a famous British sexologist and author of Desire, further pointed out: "In most parts of the world, the wedding night is very important. Even if modern people are exhausted by the wedding and have had sex before the wedding night, they still have to cherish this special moment. After all, the two of you will face half a lifetime of marriage together. In addition to sex, you can have more plans for the future."