What women do when men don't want it

Although culture has led us to generally believe that men should never lack sexual desire and are willing to have sex whenever they have the chance, if a man has no feelings for a beautiful woman, even he himself will feel that he is "not manly enough." But a real little secret is that men's sexual desire is flashing red lights.

"Men are very ashamed to talk about low libido.

"It goes against their own understanding of what masculinity is," says Michele Weiner-Davis, a marriage counselor in Chicago. "And yet," she says, "at least 20% to 25% of adult men in the United States are affected by depression. ”

People think it is normal for women to have low sexual desire, and women getting headaches when having sex is a classic plot in American comedies. But for a man, even if he just thinks that he may not be interested in women, it is enough to scare him half to death. He may even wonder if he has become gay, because a man's perception of himself is closely related to his reproductive ability. Because men keep silent about this issue and cover it up in various ways, no one actually knows how many men have the problem of low libido.

There is a growing gap between men's actual sexual desire levels and the cultural "myths" about male sexual desire.

Michele Weiner-Davis, the marriage counselor mentioned above, has seen more and more husbands among her clients who lack interest in sex, while various advertisements, movies, music videos, etc. are still working hard to portray men as always hungry.

However, Michele Weiner-Davis said she found that these men's low libido rarely had a physical cause, but was often related to the women in their lives, and they were often angry with their wives.

A husband who works as a senior lawyer told the counselor that he had a problem with low sexual desire.

He then went on to say that his wife was very critical of him and could find fault with everything he did. One's wife's attitude often hurts one's feelings.

For men, if their abilities and efforts are not recognized and appreciated by women, and they are constantly attacked by women, the effect is almost the same as being kicked in the genitals. In just a moment, all sexual desires will disappear.

When a man's sexual desire disappears, his partner (either male or female) will feel intense anxiety and panic along with him.

"Does he love me anymore?" "Has my attraction disappeared?" "Is he getting sexual satisfaction outside?" Thoughts like these can worsen a relationship and cause a host of harms that low libido alone cannot cause.

Whether it is a man or a woman who has low libido, the consequences are the same. The physical contact between the two people will decrease, and the one whose sexual desire has not decreased will feel deeply rejected. As sexual intimacy decreases, other aspects of intimacy (verbal communication, emotional support, etc.) will decrease across the board. In-depth communication will also decrease. One party may even risk cheating to get physical satisfaction.