Is your sexual bottom line preventing you from reaching the top?

For many loving couples, there is one thing that always feels like a thorn in their throat. On the emotional level, the two people can be said to be in harmony, but their sex life is out of sync, just like two discordant notes that cannot be played together to create the beautiful melody of sex. Doctors point out that this situation is caused by your failure to let your sexual partner know your sexual bottom line.

What is the bottom line of sex?

The greatest characteristic of human society is the individuality of each person. Everyone is different and everyone has his or her own style and charm. This is especially true for sex. Everyone has different sexual habits and "tastes". The so-called sexual bottom line is what you can accept in sex, what you absolutely cannot do, what you like, what you hate, what makes you happy, what makes you suddenly bored, etc.

Communication is the magic weapon to protect the bottom line of sex

When the differences between two people are too great, the quality and harmony of sex will be greatly reduced. At this time, you must communicate in a timely manner and not just endure it. American sex experts recommend that couples should reach an "agreement" regarding sex, which should include the frequency of sex, sexual behaviors that you cannot tolerate, and sexual habits that you both accept. Only then can you lay the foundation for your sex life and marital happiness. There are three methods to choose from:

1. Learn to communicate: The most common situation is that some people have been spoiled since childhood and have always been self-centered. Therefore, they lack the ability to understand others and often make demands on their partners in sex life. Once a conflict occurs, they will not communicate with the other party calmly, take the initiative to make concessions and compromises, but will only quarrel and blame the other party. It is difficult for people with this kind of personality to learn tolerance and communication in a short period of time. Therefore, they must first be considerate of each other in daily life, give each other the opportunity to speak, learn to listen, and communicate at any time during sex to have a happy sex life.

2. Speak boldly: Some people have lived in a repressive family or social environment since childhood, and their psychology is full of darkness. If their sex life is not harmonious, they will feel hurt, so they often take the offensive as defense in sex, blaming all their unhappiness and discomfort on the other party or using indifference to maintain their self-esteem.

Therefore, it is best for such people to express some of their thoughts about sex life to relieve the psychological imbalance and achieve satisfaction for both parties. If necessary, see a psychologist to treat your repressed personality.

3: Expand trust: Due to the various setbacks they have encountered in life, some people also lack sufficient sense of security in their sex life. This situation often occurs in women. Giving the other party maximum trust is an important guarantee for a good sex life, and men should also provide certain support.

Six taboos in sexual communication

Communication about sex also requires skills. Being too careless will cause some couples to fall into misunderstandings about sexual communication, which will in turn affect the further improvement of the quality of sex life. Pay attention to the methods and ways of sexual communication, and don't run red lights that go to extremes.

1. Sexual communication should be based on time and occasion: exchanging opinions and feelings during sex will affect the normal progress of sex. When you are enjoying the pleasure, your partner raising questions may hinder the good mood, especially for men who will be greatly affected and end up in a bad mood.

2. The content cannot be endless: One of the factors that allows a relationship between a man and a woman to maintain a certain level of passion is the vague sense of mystery, coupled with the level of education and the inherent concepts formed over a long period of time. Some questions are easy to ask but difficult to answer, or difficult to express in words, so you should also pay attention to knowing when to stop when speaking.

3. Privacy issues should not be involved: Sexual life is selfish. You should not ask your partner whether he or she has had other sexual partners, or ask your partner to talk about the degree of comparison of your sex life and other difficult-to-speak issues. Although you should treat each other sincerely, there will be a certain degree of privacy.

4. Continuous expansion of sexual communication: Do not tell the details of your sex life even to your parents or best friends. Otherwise, once something happens, the private life of men and women will be expanded, and your partner will never forgive each other.

5. Sexual communication does not necessarily require words: body language is enough to show whether you agree to improve sexual techniques, etc. There is often a feeling that silence is better than words and the beauty is beyond words. As long as the couple feels good, it is fine.

6. Sexual communication should not fall into the same old routine: Anything will become boring after a long time. If your partner asks almost the same questions every time during sex, the person answering will inevitably feel bored, and the person asking the questions may not be sincere. Instead, it will give rise to boredom and affect the harmony of sex.