Eight taboos for couples

For a couple to get along with each other, it takes both of them to slowly maintain their relationship. They need to consider each other in many things and not just follow their own temperament. A happy marriage is hard to come by, and harmonious relationship between husband and wife is the key. In a family, the way husband and wife get along with each other is a book that cannot be completed in a lifetime. If you want your family and marriage to be happy, you must learn how to get along with each other. Men, come and learn this.

To have a happy marriage, couples must pay attention to 8 taboos.

1. Don’t make wild guesses

Don't assume you know everything your lover is thinking and feeling; nine times out of ten, you'll be wrong. In a marriage crisis, this situation often occurs: groundless suspicions make both people angry, difficult to communicate, and eventually the relationship breaks down.

Suggestion: Take a piece of paper and follow your intuition to complete the sentence "I guess my lover would _____ think of me (to me)". Then, verify the correctness of your guess with your lover. As a result, you will find that many of your guesses are wrong. When in doubt, the best thing to do is to ask him directly.

2. Don’t take for granted what your lover does for you.

It's so important to express gratitude to your loved ones that you eliminate three negative attitudes: a sense of entitlement, unrealistic expectations, and willful forgetfulness.

Tip: Write down the big and small things your loved one does for you. Ask yourself if you have expressed gratitude for these things and how you expressed it. Keep expressing gratitude for a week and you will notice a difference.

3. Don’t blame each other

"It's all your fault!" "You made me do it, and it's because of you that things are such a mess!" Such complaints are easy to say. But words like "What responsibility should I take?" are rarely uttered. Complaining actually expresses accusations and threats, and the other party will naturally retaliate, leading to escalation of conflicts.

Suggestion: Write down the complaints you have about your lover, then ask yourself and examine your own responsibilities, and finally discuss and seek a solution together.

4. Don’t make random explanations

"Now I understand why you're so picky. You're just like your father." This kind of analysis, which seems to understand the motives behind your loved one's behavior, will only lead to anger.

Suggestion: First understand the reason for your anger, learn to listen to your loved one's opinions in an open and caring way, use non-verbal methods such as eye contact to let your loved one know that you are listening carefully, and finally make constructive suggestions.

5. Don’t be afraid to say “no”

Sacrificing your own feelings just to satisfy the other person may seem beneficial, but it is actually insincere. It is difficult to have intimacy in a marriage that lacks sincerity.

Suggestion: Telling the truth can win your lover’s trust and deepen the relationship between husband and wife. Why not make a list of all the things you're afraid to tell your loved one in order of difficulty? Then, start with the simplest thing and try to tell your loved one the truth.

6. Don’t use silence as a weapon

In a marital relationship, silence is a deadly weapon.

Suggestion: Write a letter to your lover, express the reasons for your anger and your troubles, and use a positive attitude to strive for communication and understanding between the couple.

7. Don’t be provocative

Choosing to indulge yourself emotionally or physically is more like a provocation. For example, depression, reckless spending, suicide, etc.

Suggestion: Find a place where both parties can talk calmly for 30 minutes, then figure out what of your behaviors are causing trouble for your lover, and reflect on them one by one.

8. Don’t despise your lover

Couples should avoid saying things that lower each other's self-worth. For example, "Why are you so lazy!" etc.

Suggestion: Make a list of all the sentences that say “you do this and that”, then replace “you” with “I” and try to communicate with your lover using sentences that start with “I”.