Uncover the six taboos in married life

1. Staying silent and indifferent for a long time after a quarrel

There are two sentences that can summarize the lethality of silence and indifference: silence is invisible harm; the greatest harm is indifference. Some people think that keeping silent after a quarrel is the best solution for couples. This is certainly partly true, but anything will go in the opposite direction if it is excessive. When a couple quarrels, they may not be able to be friendly right away. Keeping silent may help avoid escalating the conflict, but if they remain silent for a long time just to swear, it may affect their feelings for each other and cause harm to their marriage. As for indifference, it is even more of a poison to marriage. "Love can withstand fierce quarrels but cannot tolerate cold indifference." This is a famous saying from abroad. It is very simple and reasonable, and it is worth remembering for all couples.

2. Let a third party outside the couple interfere in the couple’s conflict

It is understandable that when people have conflicts, they all want to find someone to talk to. Boredom and annoyance need a channel to vent. However, conflicts between husband and wife are more private. As the saying goes, family disgrace should not be made public. Whether for the purpose of venting or revenge, do not easily let a third party intervene in the conflict between husband and wife, even parents, relatives and friends, because they cannot truly be completely fair. What's more, sometimes there is no real right or wrong in the conflict between husband and wife. The intervention of people outside the couple may make the conflict deeper and deeper, or even out of control.

3. Disrespecting the other party’s parents and relatives and criticizing them at every turn

Loving her means including the people around her, especially her parents, relatives, and friends. Of course, you may not be able to love the people around her that much, because you only love her, but she is not an isolated individual. She has her relatives and circle of friends. You should love the people around her, but at least don't make fun of them. Have basic respect and don't criticize and blame her parents, relatives or friends at every turn. You should know that attacking the people around her, especially her parents and relatives, is equivalent to attacking her.

4. Often using sex as a bargaining chip to threaten the other party

Most couples may not do this intentionally, nor will they admit that they have done so. After all, using sex as a threat is a bit unreasonable. But I think many couples are subconsciously doing a terrible thing without realizing it. When there are disagreements and conflicts between husband and wife, one party uses sex to threaten the other party and force him or her to submit, and uses this as a condition to exchange for the other party's concession. This contains obvious transactional elements and will inevitably arouse the other party's disgust. It will not only hurt temporary feelings, but perhaps the love and quality of sex for a lifetime. It is really not worth the cost and is an extremely stupid act that cannot be more stupid.

5. Abuse the tolerance and freedom given to you by others

Of course, husband and wife have their own social circles and freedom to interact with each other, but they must know that while enjoying this freedom and relaxed atmosphere, they must not forget to consider the other person's feelings. If the other party gives you trust, you must be worthy of that trust; if the other party gives you tolerance, you must be worthy of that tolerance; if the other party gives you space for freedom, you must be worthy of that freedom. The other person's trust in you and giving you space for freedom does not mean that there are no constraints. This constraint is actually invisible and comes from your own awareness. If you abuse the power of freedom, you will lose not only freedom but also true love.

6. Being selfish and only caring about yourself, everyone runs away when trouble comes.

It is inevitable that there will be various unexpected events in married life. No one can predict natural disasters and man-made calamities. It is the basic way of marriage for husband and wife to depend on each other and overcome difficulties together. However, in real life, there are always selfish people. Selfishness is a problem that everyone has, which is reasonable and understandable, but excessive selfishness is unbearable. As a couple, abandoning the other half and running away only for oneself in times of crisis is too selfish. It is the so-called "when disaster strikes, each runs away", which is really contrary to the meaning of a couple.