5 rules for best relationships between husband and wife

Dr. Harriet Lerner, a famous American clinical psychologist, mentioned in her new book "Marriage Rules: A Guide for Married and Cohabiting Couples": "Passively waiting for the other person to change will only accelerate the destruction of the marriage. The best way is to take positive action yourself." Dr. Lerner mentioned several best rules for couples to get along in the book.

Rule 1: Imagine that there is a guest living in your house. Married people treat strangers much better than they treat their partners. Dr. Lerner once worked with a couple who would scream at each other whenever they were alone. So, Lena suggested that one of their colleagues move in with them for a few months. As a result, the couple became respectful to each other. In this regard, Dr. Lerna pointed out that imagining that there is a guest living in the house can greatly improve the partner's ability to control his or her emotions.

Rule 2: Criticize others no more than once a day. As the two people get to know each other better, the words of praise become less and less, and the words of criticism become more and more. No one can tolerate a marriage where criticism outweighs appreciation. So both spouses should keep their mouths shut and, ideally, criticize each other no more than once a day.

Rule three: Remember the “three sentences” principle. Many men are afraid of getting into an endless argument. What bothers men the most is the speed, number of sentences and volume of a woman's speech when she is angry. So lower your volume, speak slower, and try to express yourself in three sentences. Doing so can not only avoid quarrels, but also improve communication efficiency.

Rule 4: Don’t be stingy with praise anytime and anywhere. We often encourage good habits in our children by praising them, but we forget to apply this to our partners. In addition, you can often do things that make your partner feel loved and cherished, such as helping him/her wash the dishes, washing his/her feet... Small things can often warm the other person's heart the most.

Rule 5: Learn to listen. When both parties are relaxed, anything is easier to accept. When one person is getting excited or talking incessantly, the best thing to do is to listen quietly first.